Hair Raising

I spent some time in the 'Beauty Parlour' the other day having my monthly to six week procedure done of cut, colour, and, of course, a  glorious shampoo.  There really isn't  anything better than a peppermint shampoo being liberally and robustly scrubbed into one's scalp.  Invigorating and worth every dollar spent having it done.

That is the 'Beauty' of the whole scene.  

Now I will discuss the Beauty of the Parler si on peut le dire en francais.

Yes, sans doubt, a visit to a place where there are primarily women, who have time on their hands, who have the money to spend, and who are without a doubt going to walk out of the premises looking better than they went in, is a place of much chatter, giggling, gossip, and revelations.  

So it was that interesting day at the House of Hair and Spray. 

 The conversation casually started , I think,  with what and how the Hallowe'en Trick/Treaters fared for the young mothers in the group.
They spoke of children wandering into the Liquor Store and actually getting a treat, of home made costumes and other trickery. 

This conversation  ultimately wandered into tricks people have played on family on April 1 (April Fool's Day).  One young woman proclaimed  with unusual glee that that day was her family's favourite holiday (I hadn't realized it was a holiday).  I  continued to listen unobtrusively with head covered in a plastic bag, hair matted down in a brown syrupy mess to find out exactly why this 'holiday' would be so appealing.

"I will never forget the April 1 that I was six," proclaimed one young woman.  " My mother woke us all up yelling , 'Fire! Fire!'." "I was traumatized." 

Not to be outdone another young woman announced that her Great Aunt Hilda who is 80 years old lies down at the bottom of the stairs and groans every April 1 morning and catches her unsuspecting family off guard almost every time.

A third young woman chimed in that she got her 5 year old daughter to call up her older sister and tell her that 'Mommy won't wake up.' and the resulting chaos than ensued- as the panicked woman hung up the phone and jumped into the car to her sister's to check that all was well before she was told it was a trick.

Then, there was the story about one of their brothers who had gone out the night before April 1 and somehow fell out of a tree simply because in the tone of derision only a sister can muster, "He is a man."

This 'man' supposedly called his father  to say that he needed help because he had fallen out of a tree and had broken his ankle.  His father noting the date on the calendar being the early morning of April 1 merely said, "Sure you did.", and hung up and turned over and went back to sleep."  About  an hour later when the son hadn't yet returned the father decided he should go see where his son had gotten to at such a late hour. He found him , sitting by a curb not far from home under a tree with a broken ankle. 

Now the Nail! The Point!

As I watched the beauticians working hard cutting, colouring , creaming, snipping, spraying, brushing,  curling, and ironing clients' hair I was privy to a conversation that really showed that just because you  have gotten your hair done and you  think you look smart doesn't mean that you are smart..or even kind, thoughtful, or grateful for that matter.

Client:  I'd like to come back before Christmas.
Beautician:  Well, let's see.  I am pretty booked up already.
Client:  It's really important that I get my hair done again before we leave.
Beautician:  Well, how about the 17th..at 8:00 in the morning? I could come in an hour early if you like? 
Client: Hmmm.
Beautician:  That is if you don't think it is too early. 
Client:  I really don't know.  I'm not really a morning person.
Beautician:  (Pause)  How about 6:30 pm that day? I can stay an hour later. My mom can make supper for the kids that night I suppose.
Client:  Sure that would work.


Yep., you can go to a Beauty Parlor every day of the week , at any time of the day, and you aren't going to be very pretty if the Beauty isn't on the inside too.
   

Rats!

The daily menus of many North American households have certainly changed over the years not only due to availability of certain foods, but also in the fact that people are more informed about the effects food has on our minds and bodies. 

 There are all sorts of diets out there that cater to all sorts of people and  personalities in every  sort of profession and   professed life style and philosophy .

There are the diets of the omnivores and  the carnivores, the vegan, the vegetarian, the gluten free, the carbohydrate limited, fat free, sugar free,  dairy free, and caffeine free. There are diets that contain only food that is either raw, fermented, or organic.
Many of these diets are exclusive to any other and  often the consumer relies on their  own understood definition to guide them in their choice of food in  a manner of rigidity reminiscent of Aunt Heddie in Canada's favourite  television program 'Anne of Green Gables'.

Some foods of these diets are a more expensive than others , particularly during certain times of the year here in the Great White North.  Some foods of these diets are completely foreign not only to to the country but also to the palate and the plate. Some foods could never even enter the country along with some of their citizens in years past due to political issues around the world.

My parents would have found it strange to have many of these foods and diets as options on their weekly household menus. Living and working in a culture  to produce food primarily to sell to others for distribution and consumption locally and around the world, our definition of a foreign meal was Spaghetti Os and Pizza, with a semi yearly treat to the local Chinese Restaurant where one could order 'Canadian' and get a hamburger or the Combination Special of rice, chicken balls, and stirred fired vegetables with the most exotic ingredient being almonds.


The Point? The Reason ? The Nail? for all this blither you query?*This does NOT apply to those who have Medical /Religious reasons for their diets.

There is something about a society where people  have the power and are allowed the self important indulgence of  successfully following a self prescribed diet that implies an actual choice of which food to overtly and overly consume, that I find   unctuous and dangerously decadent; especially as very few of these palate preferred consumers can not resist the temptation of loudly judging those who do not prescribe to their particular brand of food consumption. 

 It is worrisome, I think, to have so many facets of our society self identify by what they EAT, instead of self describing their attributes in terms character, values and ethics. 

 Is it perhaps because the former is easier to attain than the latter?



An Example of a Day's Menu 50 years ago.

Breakfast: Puffed Wheat, Brown Sugar, Whole Cows Milk (when we had it, otherwise it was skim milk from powder).

Lunch: Lipton Chicken Noodle Soup, Salted Crackers, Bread/Jam
Velveeta cheese sandwiches (or) Spam sandwiches. Tang for juice.

Supper (Dinner in other parts of the world): Elbow Macaroni with canned tomatoes over top, boiled wieners or fried baloney, and canned peas. Tang or skim  powdered milk if there was any left from breakfast.


Dessert: Canned fruit with real cream or rice pudding with raisins.

Pancakes and syrup were a treat.  Bacon and eggs for the whole family a rarity. Pot Roast and Chicken were for days when men were at the table depending upon the time of year. 

No one dared to declare in those days they were 'chicken free' for the same reason people in third world countries today who dig through the garbage finding rats to eat don't become 'rat free'--they'd all go hungry
                                     

Apples are Apples or Are They?

People are a lot like apples I think. 

I say this because, like apples , people are often better one at a time, are more prone to sweetness when they are young, and often rot easier if put them too close to another in a small area.

Apples often can become tart, bitter, and not just a little bit off colour when left too long before being enjoyed. And like people,  they sometimes develop a thick skin which is hard to get through and which tends to become rough on the surface.  This makes it even tougher and less attractive, resulting in a the fruit that becomes dry and coarse in taste and texture.

All I really know is that all too often apples and people that have been left unattended, uncared for, and unused just keep getting more sour  and bitter.  They actually become a determent to the other apples around them.

 Finally, in a pie shell, I would have to conclude that unless something drastic happens to both an apple and a person, both will  only get worse with time, although with apples one may still make wine, in contrast to people when all you get is whine.

A little memory of my grandma and grandpa.  Apples were stored in the basement of their farm house..wrapped in tissue paper, boxed, and situated beside the big wood burning furnace.  It was my duty when visiting to venture down the twisty creaky basement stairs to bring up AN apple to be shared by the three of us after it was ceremoniously unwrapped from its white paper, washed ,  cut and cored.

Such a difference from today when bags of apples are placed in fruit bowls and set out on the table to be enjoyed by all anytime of the day. 

2nd place...

Second Place?


A friend recently commented that in a certain instance  I am second place.  Now that in itself gives one pause to think upon not only the quality of the friendship but also the essence of what it means exactly to BE second place.

 My friendship being measured, judged, and found less valued than some other, my prime recollection of being in second place consequently came rushing into my mind's eye. This recollection  is based upon the  continual and unrelenting experience with country school track meets of my far distant youth in terms of real time, but which can be readily accessed through painful and emotionally damaged reveries. 

  There was this 'other  person' involved  that made being second become  embedded into my forever psyche as much as paint has been embedded in the  fiberglass of my husband's  helmet as a consequence of a  motorcycle accident. 

  I am referring to the only track event that I could possibly ever have come first in, the only event that took little or no actual practice, the only event that came naturally to myself as a farm girl used to lifting bales of hay, pitch forking  out the barn, and  shoveling out the last bit of spoiled barley from a partially semi empty mouse laden grain bin.  

I am thinking of   the fine sport of Shot Putt throwing.  My forte.  My expertise extraordinaire.   My place to shine. Mon raison d'etre part of the Track and Field Team.

But, unfortunately for me but fortunately for HER, there was another prairie girl, another farmer's daughter, another like no other who could out throw, out toss and out perform even moi in the area of this Olympic sanctified event.  She was at EVERY field meet and track and field event that I ever attended at the country school, high school, and even district level...and she won the coveted RED First Place ribbon every every time, while I, consequently , took the pale coloured white unnoticeable, ignored, unappreciated and often lost before it even got home ribbon signifying  the dubious and unappreciated status of being better than most but not better than best.

Name me one person who has framed their white second place ribbons. Show me one picture in a high school year book that features a collection of white second place ribbons fanned out in the hands of the dubious winner.  Indeed, show me any surviving white ribbon of that long ago era where competition was accepted and sportsmanship expected.  

Yep, my friend said I was in second place.  Thanks friend. In the realm of feel good messages that ranks less than the best..far far down the list and way past second place.

BUT then again second place might not be so bad after all. It might be good to be in second place if you are in a line up to go 'over the hill' during a combat situation, or if you are standing at a buffet and the guy in front of you drops from food poisoning, or even if you are the second place guy crossing an intersection where someone has gone through  a red light.    A white ribbon in those instances would be a welcome gift, a sign of being  chosen, a place of gratitude and contentment. 

I think I will choose  to attribute  the intention of my friend's labeling of 'second' place as a place not at the top but a long way from the bottom. Isn't that and should that  not be good enough for anyone?...

...unless of course there are only three in the race  which was the case in the 1972 Saskatchewan Summer Games in which I was a participant in Women's Canoeing.   We came in third in three races and second in one. 

  I still have the medals and the memories.

Soon it will be Christmas...another year done...

Yes, as the song goes.... soon it will be Christmas...another year done.. 

Along with Christmas comes the inevitable Christmas Parties with their gaiety, fine food, fellowship and  legend making activities.

Who can't recall with some  passing delight if not actual devilish glee some revealing antic that happened at past Christmas Office Party? Ah yes, who does not know of  the mix of truth telling, truth inventing, and truth stretching that is given leave to be circulated all under the innocent guise of 'filling in' the worker who hadn't been able to attend the annual function of dysfunction and mayhem which accompanies most of these  celebrations  denoting the total ignorance of what the Season is truly all about? These truths that spread faster than the  artificial lighting that drapes over every eave, roof, and metal railing in the average North American household, that may or may not cause red faces, vivid day dreams, and domestic disputes for years to come.

These 'truths' embellished with details that are peppered with superiority, speculated  upon as to the inner motivations, combined with the blurred memory of the story teller contributes to the Office Consciousness that when tapped will provide many hours of biting, condemning, and snickering conversation in the lunch room for months until at least the  office Spring Bar-B-Q. 

Is it not a just a bit strange then that the very reason these 'parties' even exist at all, the very origin of the Greatest Party on Earth, the real Meaning of the Season , has nothing to do with buffet tables, open bars, bonuses, and collections for the boss's gift?  In fact, I suspect that very very few of Office Party attendees give very much thought to the actual reason for the season. 

 I suspect these social gatherings are more of an opportunity to see and be seen, an opportunity to schmooze with the upper echelon of the corporation, and often an unhappy opportunity based on lust and too much alcohol to test one's attractiveness by expressing one's previously and  the oh so wisely hidden desire for a romantic dalliance with a co-worker, their spouse or some combination thereof, however brief.

A few examples of character revealing Christmas Party antics...which are not exaggerated, contrived, or invented..well not a lot anyways.

Christmas Character Flaw Revealed #1

  How about those crocodile tears that flowed when the Boss thanked everyone for the World Vision Gifts bought for her in her name? Really...she didn't KNOW one could  do that? How can she be the age she is, with the money she has, and live in the world we live in  and NOT know of World Vision?

 Christmas Character Reveal #2

How about that worker and his wife who BRING  and pass around unasked for goodies to augment the Boss's office party?  

 Blatant trying to get in good with the boss attempt perhaps.  

Christmas Character Reveal #3

The person with the big official and professional type looking boots who flung their leg over the table while slogging back copious amounts of booze to the shocked dismay of the others at the table revealed more than her lack of manners.  It also revealed the lower standard of character traits that her particular profession has allowed into their ranks. 

Christmas Character Reveal #4

The Christmas group photo.  How could one miss the squeezing in of some office staff into the back row of male co workers?  One can only speculate on the 'why' of it all.

There are a million Christmas Parties going on in North American this season-- opportunities for millions more character revealing incidents.  

If you feel you would like to share your own or another's Character Reveal , please do so in the comment section to be enjoyed by the rest of us.

http://www.worldvision.org/


Visit the site to learn more about sponsoring a child or donating to a very worthy cause.

Mr. & Mrs. Alexander Hoffman

Good evening everyone. Let me first of all introduce myself and my husband...I am Penny Hoffman and this is my husband Irwin...we are the proud parents of Alexander and the proud new in laws of our most beautiful bride Mel.


And before I go any further I would like to congratulate Shirley and Kevin on their anniversary and to acknowledge Mel's grandma as being the first bride in the group on this date.

 Best Wishes to you all.I wanted to say a few words tonight to tell the world just how pleased we both are with Alexander's choice for life partner

. It was about 6 years ago when I FINALLY received that phone call that all parent's wait for...that phone call that announces that their child is bringing someone special home for them to meet.

 My first impression?
 What a beauty! Red hair! Wonderful smile!

My second impression? What a nice little girl.

 My third impression later on in the weekend?
 'Yep. This could be the ONE."Followed later by the thought: "That would be a good thing."

Shortly after their arrival to our rural home near Yorkton, Alexander went off exploring 'home' and left Mel sitting in the kitchen with me while I prepared lunch. I remember visiting with her and her talking about her mom and dad, her sister, her grandma, and her aunts and uncles...all in this first conversation and I thought to myself, "This young woman really loves her family and is well loved by her family. How nice! How refreshing!"

Over the years that we have known Mel our own love for her has steadily grown ...her ready smile and wonderful laugh, her down to earth practicality in knowing what in life is important..(proven when she bought Alexander blue jeans for Christmas one year), and her genuine goodness and compassion has never ceased to impress us.

 I also want to mention that she is a GREAT co-camper--a true test of character.

Just a little story...Mel's first experience camping in a tent was with us during a very cold and snowy May long weekend. Our camping experience, being a bit more primitive than most, consists of a small camper with the private facilities being located in a little tent outside of the camper. In the middle of the cold wet night I happened to look out and saw the 'facility' tent wiggling and wiggling and I thought that it must have been particularly windy out. It wasn't until the next morning that Mel shared that she had been out and about in the middle of the night and that the zipper on that particular shelter had gotten stuck and that the wiggling that I had seen in the night was her trying to escape until she finally crawled on her hands and knees to get outside and free. What is even more incredible is that she even went camping again after that experience. She has an open invitation from Irwin to go camping anytime

.I would now like to give a few words of advice from someone who has been married for over 30 years...some of this knowledge will be well entrenched in any long married couple's relationship so it wouldn't be new to many in the crowd.

1st of all I would like to forewarn Mel and Alexander that there are indeed going to be moments when you just will "have to love them anyway'. I am talking about those times when you will have to grit your teeth, bite your lip, leave the room and go for a walk." Such moments may come when, from pure just plain lack of judgment and bad luck salt instead of the sugar will be used to top off the rhubarb crisp . A walk might be in order following an incident let's say of the use of a blow torch on a family heirloom crystal candle stick used to dislodge old wax. A good lip biting might be the best choice in terms of response when for example, 'someone' drives long long long long after the gauge shows HOT on the dash of a little treasured Mazda quarter ton truck and consequently melts the whole of the engine block. ( like who knew that could actually happen?)

Other times these methods of home preservation may be used would be after 'someone' forgets to close the deep freeze door for the weekend, or when one of you takes the car off to work with the other's purse in the passenger seat beside them in plain sight...and an even BIGGER LIP BITE might be in order when one partner drives off through the mud for three miles before realizing that the 'other' is indeed not in the back seat and is in actuality still standing outside-- in the field-- in the rain.

My second piece of advice to both Alexander and Mel as they embark on their life together is to make sure they always remember that the other one has been greatly loved and cherished by their own parents . Parents, who only want the very best for them. I ask that during the dark times , the times when they are the most angry, the times when they do not want to forgive and forget, the times when they most want to lash out, that they remember that deep down inside the other one is still the little child that was loved and cuddled by their parents and that they try to use that image to be compassionate, forgiving and loving once again.

Finally I would like to thank all of Mel's relatives along with Grandma, Shirley and Kevin, with a special thanks also to sister Kerry, for welcoming Alexander aka "Slick" so nicely into their family fold.

 There is nothing that makes a parent happier than to know that their child is loved and safe and I believe that to be true today.

May God Bless you Alexander and Mel with many wonderful years together. We wish you prosperity, good health, and much happiness but along with all those things I wish you the doubled joy and half the grief that is possible by a life being shared.

May He give you each wisdom and patience and the capacity to forgive as you travel onward through this special life's journey. May all the marriages in this building be blessed by your example and, also, as today is the anniversary of other weddings, may it serve as a reminder to us all that one does not simply 'get' married...but rather one 'does' marriage...over and over and over again.