A Mathematical Easter

TW --Total Hours Worked
CC -- Chocolate Consumption
A --  Age
SW -- Shifts Worked
ST -- Sleep time

fw --foil wrapping

Using the formula of  SW(A x TW) x ST  equals CC - fw.
Therefore : CC -fw equals  4 (60 x 46) x 40

CC- fw has to be 10400 x 40
CC-fw therefore is 41600 units.

Minus the unknown factor of the fw which will be arbitrarily designated a value of .9987  the CC therefore calculates out to be 41600 x .9987 as 41545.92 units of Chocolate in danger of being consumed.

Unknown factors are:

 1. Supply Source of Chocolate (if not the Easter Bunny then who(m)??)

2. Formula does not account for any hours wasted in useless Facebook perusing, Easter Bunny Google Searches, or actual workplace duties being performed.

3. WP  (Will Power) has been deliberately factored out as it never had much of a value in past calculations.

It would be nice to know how to use all  special mathematical keys on the keyboard.
 

A Patriotic Christmas Carol

As Rachel's birthday is in the middle of December it was usual that the birthday girl would have a Christmas Tree as part of the birthday decorations. On one of Rachel's birthdays..6th or 7th..she had a friend come over after school to help celebrate . These two little girls spent the afternoon dressing up, playing with their dolls and toy dishes.
I noticed they were in the living room, all dressed up, looking at the tree and the creche underneath. I heard Rachel say that they should sing a song to Baby Jesus. I listened closer wondering what they would choose to sing.
Soon their earnest voices rang out with sweetness an original version of O Canada.

Lovely memory.

Porridge for Easter

Easter on the Prairies 2013


The skiers and skaters loved the long winter a lot
But the people who lived on the Prairies did NOT!
The people watched helplessly as the snowmobiles roared
The people cried desperately as the flakes fell in hoards.

The snow filled the ditches, the streets and the lanes,
Every shoulder from shoveling was suffering pain.
The wind blew with a fury and made the roads icy
Making any travel at Easter a plan that was dicey.

The people were worried that the Bunny would say,
"Oh, it is much, much too dangerous. I must stay away.
The baskets will stay empty this year.
Being a Rabbit that hops, I am not a good skier."


The people on the Prairies cried out in great fear,
"No candies? No chocolate? No Easter Parade?
Not even one Marshmallow Egg?"

"No! No! No! No!", they cried , cried, cried, cried.
"What's Easter without baskets and surprises inside?"

Then the People of the Prairie got an idea!
They had banquets and auctions,
They sold pies at the rink and canvassed the streets
Trying to raise money for some great Easter Treats.

After dances, and dinners, and discussions galore
The People realized they needn't do more
As they now had the money to buy a new Cat



The Good Easter Bunny could not say no to That.

 Easter dawned cold, with a wind that blew drifts that started to stick
Across  the roads and the fields to get one stuck quick.



Did THAT stop the Bunny?

NO!
He loaded his Cat with  his  baskets of  chocolates, marshmallow chickens,
and  eggs made of candy with  new pastel additions.

He raised the blood sugar of all in the town
With just the new rendition of the Chocolate Easter Clown.

He  brought Easter Joy across the white spaces
bringing grins  and full stomachs instead of sad faces.

What happened then?

While the People of the Prairies all say
That when the wrappers from the candy thrown down on  ground
Got the warmth of  the sun, it caused them to heat
Then the snow started melting and couldn't be beat.

The Prairies were flooded..all the candy was lost
Long Ears on  Arctic Cat took off for the South.

Porridge for Easter was the fare for the day
We were lucky to have that  as  some say.

No flowers, or lilies, or crocuses blooming
But spring will come soon , so nonsense in moving.

Spring Signs

As the human demarcation of the beginning of  spring denotes that it will and must begin tomorrow , one comes to terms with the fact that perhaps, just perhaps, it isn't going to happen according to  anyone's will, want, or calendar.

I catch myself looking for signs of this elusive and long awaited, albeit artificially imposed quarter of the cycle of the earth's turning. 

 I imagine perhaps that there are more birds about the yard and feeder. 

I think the sun is just a bit stronger than it would even have been in January, if it had indeed actually shone during that dull introduction to the year of incomparable amounts of  snow, bad roads, along with consumption of record amounts of burned fuel to supply light and heat to a society's infrastructure that has come to rely on its ready use. 

 I insist on wearing my light winter jacket and pass by my high topped mukluks in favour of my regular albeit rugged ankle leather boots.


It perhaps is a time of hope, trust and even delusion that within a month  the roads will be dry, water will be streaming only where it is welcome and expected, and the rebirth of the creatures and greenery of the earth will burst forth , thankfully, soundlessly, at least to the human ear.

But until that time one must pay attention to other signs in order to be safe. 
Signs that have definite and non seasonal meanings.
Signs that are provided for not only direction but also for safety.


I am talking about the signs in your vehicle.  The signs on your dashboard that describe in what gear your car is in, be it either high , low, neutral, park, and yes, even reverse.

 

The importance of this sign was made very clear to me this end of winter morning as I proceeded to try to clear the windshield of last night's drift of snow by merely turning on the wipers and letting physics and mechanics do the job. 

 But as ice and frost would have it, the wipers refused to engage and I hastily jumped out of the vehicle leaving the driver's side door open and ran around the back bumper to the front on the passenger's side  (as there is always that chance that if you close the door with the keys in the ignition it will magically lock), and proceeded to brush and tap ice off the windshield when the vehicle slowly and mysteriously started rolling backward.  

 As the snow bank on the driver's side was too high to climb over I had to again run around the back of the moving vehicle and jump in and hit the brakes.  The gear indicator showed that when I had put the cold and stiff  vehicle into what I THOUGHT was Park was instead Reverse. 

 

My Bad

 I live in an area of the world where seasonal weather changes are as precise and drastic as it gets on this planet.  It is a place where it can be 30+ C above one part of the year - where if you did not have access to moving air and water you would expire within 30 minutes. 

It is also a place where 6 months later it can be
-30C where if you were exposed to any type of wind or water you would expire within 10 minutes if your body was not sufficiently covered, and even then after 20 minutes under the right wind and temperature conditions, you would have a hard time not succumbing to the elements.


I find that this continuous bombardment of cold temperature, blowing snow, shoveling, and daily dangers to health and extraneous limbs a time that stirs a strange hunger and yearning for law defying risk taking, along with the  ultimate chastisement from power figures that results in the exhibiting of the  rebel within my soul. 

No , I do not drive fast on icy roads.

No, I do not risk leaving the yard without candle and matches in the vehicle. 

No, I do not steal away randomly into stormy blizzards. I always have my cell phone fully charged. I always let people know when I am leaving and where I am going and when to expect me whenever I venture out for the upwards of 5 winter months we experience. 

No, I do not see how far I can walk one way across the snow laden field just to see if I can get back before my hands/ feet fall off in icy chunks.

  What is this evil torment that grips my being every winter that defies authority and reveals a certain weakness of character and moral uprightness coupled with  a certain saucy daring that spits in the eye of justice and social order?


I must now ask the reader to pause before reading further and consider  this writer with compassion and some understanding as I share this  obvious flaw of moral fibre, character lack and indeed, blatant disregard for ultimate world safety.
 
This is the source of the marring of my public esteem,  the stain upon my soul, and the searing scar  that can no longer be hidden from the world:



 It is that I cannot  resist the thrill of pure juvenile and irredeemable 'BADNESS' that runs down my spine as I  sit on my  stiff 'ice block like' car seat in my frigid  vehicle that spews  gaseous vapour  that rises at a right angle from the exhaust pipe while the temperature gauge slowly oh so slowly climbs from the left hand side of the gauge to the middle, all while I stare defiantly and full faced  for 10 minutes at the sign in the government parking lot that proclaims:

 

 

 

                         





 

Answer Me That!

I was having a conversation regarding the use of computers and how I can't figure out how to do 'stuff' anymore with my computer with my High Tech Savvy Son. 

I was explaining to him that things just  seem to change  randomly on the computer and that one time hitting one key will do one thing and then the next time hitting the same key will do something else. HTSS just shook his head in silence, rolled his eyes, and then proceeded to explain my trouble was that I am not able to visualize my actions in the abstract--(whatever THAT meant!)

To which I , of course, quiered, "What does THAT mean?"

"It means," came the answer as he stared  back into my bewildered gaze, "That you expect that if you do the same thing over and over again on the computer the same thing will happen. You and people of your age group think that if you hit the same key you will get the same results." 

 He went on to explain that 'people of my generation' never look up at the screen, we just expect that if you hit the same key the same thing will happen and we don't pay attention to the display or to which computer  'mode' is running.

And  my reply to HTSS was,  "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

That little conversation explained a lot to me about where this world is going to.

 If we can't even hope to have consistency in a binomial based 1 on -- 0 off  bit of solder and plastic, then why are we even a little surprised when our ability to accurately visualize non abstract incidents involving smart people doing stupid things, governments overspending themselves into bankruptcy, along with  the  unravelling  of  the basic values of society due to  drugs, violence, and corruption is consistently correct without the use of any computer at all?

Answer me THAT will you?

Society's Guilt

Gee Penny--Was this why you have always said that alcohol shouldn't be served to minors at graduation parties, hockey games, and football wind ups? Is this why you said that the term 'learning to drink' only involves a flat line on the learning curve?  Is this why you think that the normalization of alcohol is a dangerous thing for our young people  with developing brains and underdeveloped skills in judgement and self awareness--and that is why they are still considered minors? 

                                                            --asked no one ever.

I am adding a copy of an Editiorial from the Yorkton This Week Paper...by Murray Mandryk, March 13, 2013


In all the talk about the new Saskatchewan, what sometimes gets lost is that not everything about the old Saskatchewan was bad.

There again, perhaps it is time every now and again to refresh old attitudes.

The Saskatchewan Party government’s decision to not change the drink age from its current 19 years speaks to both issues.

Some are already questioning whether the announcement by Saskatchewan Liquor and Gaming Authority (SLGA) Minister Donna Harpauer to keep the status quo and not lower the drinking age to 18 years is just another example of a risk-averse province holding on to its past.

The drinking age in Manitoba and Alberta is 18 years. And with a worse record of underage drinking and underage drinking and driving than either neighbouring province, there’s an argument that Saskatchewan’s more prudish approach simply isn’t working, anyway.

But a province — always overly sensitive about its perception as a little more backwards than more urban provinces — shouldn’t ever had to apologizing for doing the right thing.

And lest anyone think that lowering the drinking age to 18 years is the right thing, consider the tragic death of 17-year-old Jaiden Lynn Slaferek.

Slaferek was the Grade 12 student from Qu’Appelle who plunged 12 metres to her death from the catwalk above the stage at Regina’s Conexus Arts Centre on Jan. 15, 2012.

Jaiden and two companions — 19-year-old Mason Smyth and 21-year-old Todd Horrocks — were in a place they shouldn’t have been in. The trio went to great lengths to be there. They got on a freight elevator, went up a series of stairs and through several unlocked doors including one reading “Danger, Do Not Enter” and under a girder to gain access to the catwalk that is no longer in use because of safety concerns.

They did what young people sometimes do: They made some very bad choices when their judgment was impaired by alcohol.

At the time of her death from head trauma, Jaiden Slaferek’s blood alcohol content was four times the legal limit — some place between .30 and .37. Certainly, she was far too drunk to be navigating a 70-centimetre wide catwalk.

They had been drinking at a house party earlier and more alcohol was snuck into the high school dance at the Conexus Art Centre.

Now, some would choose to view this event as evidence that the age 19 drinking age isn’t working anyway.

But Jaiden’s father Rick Slaferek views it as a call to tighten up the law as it applies to those who would provide alcohol to underage kids.

“The whole issue seems to be acceptable in our society today,” Slaferek told reporters after his daughter’s coroner’s inquest. “I would really like to see it start at home that we clamp down on that.

“You get close to grad and multitudes of parents buy their kids liquor. They’re not 19. We need them to feel there are consequences.”

Of course, the issue is a complicated one. Many parents feel that under-age kids drinking in the controlled environment of a house party is a lesser evil than allowing their teenagers to sneak away to drink or drink and drive. There is legitimacy to this point as well.

However, Slaferek does seem to have a point that maybe we do need to rethink our approach. In our rural culture, the drunken bush party is often seen as a right-of-passage for both rural and urban kids. And until we see a tragedy like that of the Slaferek family, we assume that is just the way it has to be.

Sometimes it is important to re-examine our old way of thinking.

But sometimes it’s also important to recognize what we are already doing works best.

Murray Mandryk has been covering provincial politics for over 22 years.