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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Without Prejudice

 Without Prejudice


I suspect that being a man, a guy, a male, a fellow, or a person of masculine characteristics in our North American culture can sometimes be a little isolating and somewhat sad.

In fact, when I look at some of the men, guys, fellows, and people of masculine characteristics that I have the had the privilege to call husband, relative, friend, or acquaintance, I know that the above statement is true.

I have personally seen some of these  people who are blessed with the XY chromosome  cope  with  mistreatment and  misunderstanding in various unhealthy ways.  Sometimes it is through anger, resentment, self medication with alcohol or drugs along with stoic silence  with regards to their feelings of disappointment, regret, or  resentment about being treated unfairly. 

Nothing really remarkable is in the above paragraphs--no new thoughts, nothing original, nothing that most people haven't noticed for themselves.

BUT--HOWEVER--LET ME ADD THIS----



Recently I have been privy to witness a slight veering away from the above direction that most men, guys, fellows, or persons of masculine characteristics have followed since the ideas of 'manliness' and 'machismo' were hatched by some, no doubt very troubled and clouded thinking individuals,  who believed that the  difference between men and women can be defined in the amount of tears that are shed,  along with  the amount of hair on one's face, size of one's breasts, and beer that one guzzles.



This veering away from this 'masculinity' of which  I write occurred  recently  when someone whom I shall henceforth refer to as M (for MALE) went to the local tire shop for a repair.  He was asked how work was going and he informed the questioner (a male) that he had been 'Let Go' from his place of employment.
  Following the repairs M,sat and had a cup of coffee with the owner and a few other  male customers who considered sitting  in a tire shop garage drinking java a wonderful and enlightening time in comparison to having to  deal with  snow, shovels, or machinery.


It was around this little round coffee stained pedestal table in a cement floor garage, that this veering from the macho man stereotype to which I have previously referred to occurred.

 One of the coffee drinking, mitt sitting, toque wearing, local area guys asked  how it came  to be that M had lost his job.

 As M proceeded to explain, he had the full attention of all three of the men at the table, plus the young man working in the little room at the back.  In fact, the telephone rang twice  during his dissertation but the owner didn't answer either time as he was too interested in hearing the story, and when he did answer the phone, he asked  M to stop  talking until he came back.   As he spoke, M , often heard comments that proved that he was being listened to...some  in  knowing agreement, some in surprise, and others with complete  and quick understanding of the situation.

 But mostly and more importantly, simply heard attentive and understanding silence. 


 M was listened to by his peers.  M was listened to by four people he did not know except to do business .  None of them were a relative, a professional, or anyone who would have a preconceived notion about the matter. None of those sitting at that little table was anyone who had to be on his 'side'. 

 In fact, I doubt if 'M' could name even one person of this non-judgmental and supportive group.


M left that little tire shop with a lighter heart and a better feeling  about himself , carrying with him a higher self-worth than he had when he first walked in. 


I have long thought that angels take on a varied array of characteristics, and this time, I believe,  they have dressed in greasy overalls, warm toques, and snowmobile boots.


The above article is merely the opinion of the author and is not intended to represent, replicate, or depict any real or vaguely imagined in any way, shape, or form, any enterprise , or company ; or to suggest  or hint that any privately owned business  in any small town in any province in any country of the World would actually act with malice and mean spiritedness to allow any hard working , honest, dependable individual to be insulted, sworn at, and physically threatened by other workers. 

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