Soon it will be Christmas...another year done...

Yes, as the song goes.... soon it will be Christmas...another year done.. 

Along with Christmas comes the inevitable Christmas Parties with their gaiety, fine food, fellowship and  legend making activities.

Who can't recall with some  passing delight if not actual devilish glee some revealing antic that happened at past Christmas Office Party? Ah yes, who does not know of  the mix of truth telling, truth inventing, and truth stretching that is given leave to be circulated all under the innocent guise of 'filling in' the worker who hadn't been able to attend the annual function of dysfunction and mayhem which accompanies most of these  celebrations  denoting the total ignorance of what the Season is truly all about? These truths that spread faster than the  artificial lighting that drapes over every eave, roof, and metal railing in the average North American household, that may or may not cause red faces, vivid day dreams, and domestic disputes for years to come.

These 'truths' embellished with details that are peppered with superiority, speculated  upon as to the inner motivations, combined with the blurred memory of the story teller contributes to the Office Consciousness that when tapped will provide many hours of biting, condemning, and snickering conversation in the lunch room for months until at least the  office Spring Bar-B-Q. 

Is it not a just a bit strange then that the very reason these 'parties' even exist at all, the very origin of the Greatest Party on Earth, the real Meaning of the Season , has nothing to do with buffet tables, open bars, bonuses, and collections for the boss's gift?  In fact, I suspect that very very few of Office Party attendees give very much thought to the actual reason for the season. 

 I suspect these social gatherings are more of an opportunity to see and be seen, an opportunity to schmooze with the upper echelon of the corporation, and often an unhappy opportunity based on lust and too much alcohol to test one's attractiveness by expressing one's previously and  the oh so wisely hidden desire for a romantic dalliance with a co-worker, their spouse or some combination thereof, however brief.

A few examples of character revealing Christmas Party antics...which are not exaggerated, contrived, or invented..well not a lot anyways.

Christmas Character Flaw Revealed #1

  How about those crocodile tears that flowed when the Boss thanked everyone for the World Vision Gifts bought for her in her name? Really...she didn't KNOW one could  do that? How can she be the age she is, with the money she has, and live in the world we live in  and NOT know of World Vision?

 Christmas Character Reveal #2

How about that worker and his wife who BRING  and pass around unasked for goodies to augment the Boss's office party?  

 Blatant trying to get in good with the boss attempt perhaps.  

Christmas Character Reveal #3

The person with the big official and professional type looking boots who flung their leg over the table while slogging back copious amounts of booze to the shocked dismay of the others at the table revealed more than her lack of manners.  It also revealed the lower standard of character traits that her particular profession has allowed into their ranks. 

Christmas Character Reveal #4

The Christmas group photo.  How could one miss the squeezing in of some office staff into the back row of male co workers?  One can only speculate on the 'why' of it all.

There are a million Christmas Parties going on in North American this season-- opportunities for millions more character revealing incidents.  

If you feel you would like to share your own or another's Character Reveal , please do so in the comment section to be enjoyed by the rest of us.

http://www.worldvision.org/


Visit the site to learn more about sponsoring a child or donating to a very worthy cause.

Mr. & Mrs. Alexander Hoffman

Good evening everyone. Let me first of all introduce myself and my husband...I am Penny Hoffman and this is my husband Irwin...we are the proud parents of Alexander and the proud new in laws of our most beautiful bride Mel.


And before I go any further I would like to congratulate Shirley and Kevin on their anniversary and to acknowledge Mel's grandma as being the first bride in the group on this date.

 Best Wishes to you all.I wanted to say a few words tonight to tell the world just how pleased we both are with Alexander's choice for life partner

. It was about 6 years ago when I FINALLY received that phone call that all parent's wait for...that phone call that announces that their child is bringing someone special home for them to meet.

 My first impression?
 What a beauty! Red hair! Wonderful smile!

My second impression? What a nice little girl.

 My third impression later on in the weekend?
 'Yep. This could be the ONE."Followed later by the thought: "That would be a good thing."

Shortly after their arrival to our rural home near Yorkton, Alexander went off exploring 'home' and left Mel sitting in the kitchen with me while I prepared lunch. I remember visiting with her and her talking about her mom and dad, her sister, her grandma, and her aunts and uncles...all in this first conversation and I thought to myself, "This young woman really loves her family and is well loved by her family. How nice! How refreshing!"

Over the years that we have known Mel our own love for her has steadily grown ...her ready smile and wonderful laugh, her down to earth practicality in knowing what in life is important..(proven when she bought Alexander blue jeans for Christmas one year), and her genuine goodness and compassion has never ceased to impress us.

 I also want to mention that she is a GREAT co-camper--a true test of character.

Just a little story...Mel's first experience camping in a tent was with us during a very cold and snowy May long weekend. Our camping experience, being a bit more primitive than most, consists of a small camper with the private facilities being located in a little tent outside of the camper. In the middle of the cold wet night I happened to look out and saw the 'facility' tent wiggling and wiggling and I thought that it must have been particularly windy out. It wasn't until the next morning that Mel shared that she had been out and about in the middle of the night and that the zipper on that particular shelter had gotten stuck and that the wiggling that I had seen in the night was her trying to escape until she finally crawled on her hands and knees to get outside and free. What is even more incredible is that she even went camping again after that experience. She has an open invitation from Irwin to go camping anytime

.I would now like to give a few words of advice from someone who has been married for over 30 years...some of this knowledge will be well entrenched in any long married couple's relationship so it wouldn't be new to many in the crowd.

1st of all I would like to forewarn Mel and Alexander that there are indeed going to be moments when you just will "have to love them anyway'. I am talking about those times when you will have to grit your teeth, bite your lip, leave the room and go for a walk." Such moments may come when, from pure just plain lack of judgment and bad luck salt instead of the sugar will be used to top off the rhubarb crisp . A walk might be in order following an incident let's say of the use of a blow torch on a family heirloom crystal candle stick used to dislodge old wax. A good lip biting might be the best choice in terms of response when for example, 'someone' drives long long long long after the gauge shows HOT on the dash of a little treasured Mazda quarter ton truck and consequently melts the whole of the engine block. ( like who knew that could actually happen?)

Other times these methods of home preservation may be used would be after 'someone' forgets to close the deep freeze door for the weekend, or when one of you takes the car off to work with the other's purse in the passenger seat beside them in plain sight...and an even BIGGER LIP BITE might be in order when one partner drives off through the mud for three miles before realizing that the 'other' is indeed not in the back seat and is in actuality still standing outside-- in the field-- in the rain.

My second piece of advice to both Alexander and Mel as they embark on their life together is to make sure they always remember that the other one has been greatly loved and cherished by their own parents . Parents, who only want the very best for them. I ask that during the dark times , the times when they are the most angry, the times when they do not want to forgive and forget, the times when they most want to lash out, that they remember that deep down inside the other one is still the little child that was loved and cuddled by their parents and that they try to use that image to be compassionate, forgiving and loving once again.

Finally I would like to thank all of Mel's relatives along with Grandma, Shirley and Kevin, with a special thanks also to sister Kerry, for welcoming Alexander aka "Slick" so nicely into their family fold.

 There is nothing that makes a parent happier than to know that their child is loved and safe and I believe that to be true today.

May God Bless you Alexander and Mel with many wonderful years together. We wish you prosperity, good health, and much happiness but along with all those things I wish you the doubled joy and half the grief that is possible by a life being shared.

May He give you each wisdom and patience and the capacity to forgive as you travel onward through this special life's journey. May all the marriages in this building be blessed by your example and, also, as today is the anniversary of other weddings, may it serve as a reminder to us all that one does not simply 'get' married...but rather one 'does' marriage...over and over and over again.

Red Socks

Today's Topic  is Socks

Socks are the common denominator in our society.  |The majority of the people reading this are wearing at least one pair, and this pair has been deliberately chosen to be the ones worn for this day --a day that also  also includes the choice to read this blog.


Some of these socks may range anywhere  from being plain white (male or female) ankle or knee length , neon striped with articulated toes and heals, plus  almost  every conceivable design, colour, sports logo, weight, texture, and material that the modern man has imagined and manufactured.

Gone are the days of  the home made knit socks and darning needles and   darning eggs for the  weekly hole repair. 

However, no matter what genre sock is involved the mystery as to where the socks go after they are placed in the dryer remains to this day.  When my family was growing up I made it a rule to only have white socks ..same style, same size ..so there wasn't any hassle in figuring out whose socks belonged to whom, and there were usually enough left socks for the right socks to pair up with.       

I have had the same two feet for over 60 years. For over 60 years I have been concerned over finding, searching for, and wearing matching socks on these same two feet... feet which in fact are NOT matching in themselves. In reality they are barely mirror images of each other being in turn (and often in circles) alternately left and right. Therefore, tonight for the first time in 60 years, I am going to wear mismatched socks.. hearkening to the ancient adage that 'if you can't find the right one. . then you have to wear the one that's left."

Red Socks are special.  They take you to parties where one meets the most interesting people,  They also help you to  dance like you think no one is looking.  The wearing of them can almost guarantee that you will get home late or early depending upon which side of the clock you want to look at. 

 There are at least 4 'at one time used to be 19 years old'  women who lived at #6-1953 Garnet Street, Regina, Saskatchewan in the early 1970's that can attest to the truth of the above statement.

Mail Order Shopping

Hey there Laura! 

Thanks for leaving your  Catalogue at work for my perusal. Yes I'd like to place an order , but first I would like to

ask a few questions regarding products and their usage etc.

1. I was fascinated by the thought of using a Fat Mop, but just wondering if one should use it wet or dry in or out of the shower?

2. The wire Facial Hair Remover looks interesting..no plugging into anything I am thinking. Quite good for camping. Does the Fuzz Eater come separately?

3. I will definitely be ordering the Bunion Toe Spreader...make that two (2) for the left foot --any colour will do.
4. Super Duper on the Super Kegel fore sure...I'll take one in Green...this item will also go nicely with the  EZ Ladies Travel Urinal.. After receiving these items I plan on not only filling up the van tank with gas while traveling but will also be able to get one of those large Cokes to Go.

5. What about those Prostrate Cushions....no mention of colour or type of outer material available...silk? Velcro? burlap? or just plain velvet? I'll take a dozen of those little rascals ...one for each of my hubby's outfits.

6. I'll be ordering a full carton of Anti Vibration Pads too.--you can pack them with the Kegal/Urinal Container.

7. I notice a Ring Remover...it is on that page with the bathroom stuff...is that any ring? ie. Wedding? Nose? ..Belly Button?

8. Those Banana Guards looked interesting...I'll get back to you on those.

9. A co-worker wanted me to ask if your company carried Udder Butter and Bag Bomb (she claims I spelled that last wrong but whatever....).

IB me with the estimated cost. I am hoping for a bit of a discount for such a big order.
Thanks..
pea

Butt that's Tacky!

As I was sitting in a restaurant the other day I overheard (eavesdropped)  a conversation between a handsome, fit, and tanned doctor and his fashionable family while they partook of their meal. Their conversation ranged from the obese individual at a table across the room, racial comments about incidences of vandalism in the area, and the quality or lack thereof of the food they were eating. Just shows to go ya that it isn't so much what goes into one's mouth that makes one beautiful..it is actually what comes out.

Now this is the rest of the story....

 Prior to this eavesdropped conversation,   as this self imagined 'first' family were leaving their table situated across from our own to go to the buffet, the doctor's wife  accidentally (at least I think accidentally ) rubbed her dainty  gluteus   maximus on my elbow.

   I found  it strange that she didn't turn around to see who or what she rubbed against.

 After I overheard the conversation and my husband told me name of the doctor,  I remembered  that  this  doctor has a reputation of being a womanizer.  I  then thought, 'That might explain why she didn't turn around and say excuse me. She may have thought it was my husband she touched, or else maybe she knew it was me and SHE is a womanizer too.'

 

Two Definitions

Today I will discuss  my  first experience with  one of the two definitions of Leverage* and ultimately my second happier experience with the second.


The first  experience with leverage occurred during the moving of our family from our city apartment back to our country home. 

 The washing machine which was situated in the basement of the townhouse was going to need to be loaded onto a cart for transport. 

 The stairs leading up from the basement were the type that had a  landing on the stairway and then the steps turned at a right angle to complete the rise to the ground level.  

As moving appliances was usually happily not in the realm of my pre - transport duties I spent most of the morning packing the mundane kitchen/bathroom items and utensils all the while listening to things being dragged around in the basement, back door opening and closing, several trips up and down the stairs, some nonthreatening banging and clanging, with some murmuring  under the breath guttural moans and  expressions.


  All seemed to be going according to schedule.

  Until...I got the call.

"Dear, could you come down here for a second?"

Fearing someone had gotten hurt, or perhaps I needed to run an errand, I immediately went down to see why I was being hearkened in such sweet and loving manner.

As I turned the corner to go down the stairs I saw my husband standing at the bottom with two lengths of planking lying along the steps  and  the washing machine resting at the bottom.

I slowed my pace...warily squeezing by the appliance and planks--no small feat as I was six months pregnant at the time.

"What would you like?", I asked eyeing the scene dubiously as little alarms started to tinkle at the back of my consciousness.

"I can't get the washing machine around the corner of the landing so I want you to stand here. " He said as he pointed to the bottom of the steps, "I am going to the top of the stairs  and slide the washing machine up the steps using the planks for support."

 I thought to myself, 'Well that is easy enough...I can do that! As long as he doesn't let the washing machine slide back on me....'. 

Then he said, " As I get the washing machine to the top of the landing, I want you to lift the planks up to your shoulders and just stand there."


  As my bladder lurched and the baby kicked, my inner thoughts were , " OK...now this is too much.  Had this man gone MAD? Was he conniving some sort of household accident in his mind's eye?  Had I finally pushed him over the brink?

 Did he actually expect me...his darling, little , and kind wife and mother of 3 1/2  of his cherished children to actually be able to lift TWO heavy planks PLUS a washing machine to the level of her shoulders without suffering any serious consequences or harm?"

 The greater fear was  that his expectations  of my success were perhaps not really  that high. 

He stood there waiting for my response as I weighed the odds of receiving at the very least skinned shins, knees, and arms if the machine fell back down the stairs,  all the way to possibly experiencing a hernia compounded by a cardiac event  or worse if I attempted such a feat.

 As he was already half way up the stairs with said appliance preparing to drag it precariously upward and outward,  I  obediently said, " OK.  If you think I can do it."

So it began.  

I watched as the washing machine was hauled up slowly by hand higher and higher over the planks accompanied by scraping sounds like nails on a chalkboard. 

 When the machine got near the landing, he said, "Now! Now! Pick up the planks and place them on your shoulder."

I took a deep breath (as deep as any  woman who is six months pregnant could) and laboriously bent over,  grabbed a plank in each hand, and without hardly any effort lifted the planks surprisingly quickly up to my shoulders. 

 I raised my eyes to see the washing machine miraculously being pulled level onto the landing and consequently disappearing around the corner and ultimately heard it being dragged up over the next stairway and out the door.

THAT apparently is leverage.



.

       Give me a place to stand , and I will move the Earth. -- Archimedes

But it didn't end there. 

There are two definitions of leverage* remember. 

Henceforward, whenever there seems to be an impasse in who does what for whom in terms of favours, gifts, or outings,   I sometimes hearken back to the 'time I helped move the washing machine'  to leverage the situation in my favour. 

*

Full Definition of LEVERAGE

1

:  the action of a lever or the mechanical advantage gained by it

2

:  power, effectiveness leverage

>

3

:  the use of credit to enhance one's speculative capacity

See leverage defined for English-language learners »

See leverage defined for kids »

Examples of LEVERAGE

1. The union's size gave it leverage in the labor contract negotiations.
2. The player's popularity has given him a great deal of leverage with the owners of the team.
3. I used the leverage of the bar and a wooden block to pry the rock out of the hole.

First Known Use of LEVERAGE

1830

Related to LEVERAGE

Synonyms

authority, clout, credit, heft, in, juice [slang], influence, pull, sway, weight

Related Words

counterinfluence; command, dominance, dominion, mastery, predominance, reign, scepter, sovereignty (also sovranty), supremacy; consequence, eminence, importance, moment; impact, impress, impression, imprint, mark

Near Antonyms

helplessness, impotence, impotency, powerlessness, weakness

more

Rhymes with LEVERAGE

beverage

²leverage

transitive verb

: to use (something valuable) to achieve a desired result

leveragedleverag·ing

Full Definition of LEVERAGE

1

:  to provide (as a corporation) or supplement (as money) with leverage; also :  to enhance as if by supplying with financial leverage

2

:  to use for gain :  exploit leverage

the system to their advantage — Alexander Wolff>

Examples of LEVERAGE

1. The company wants to leverage its brands more effectively.
2. leverage

her 15 minutes of fame>

First Known Use of LEVERAGE

1957

Related to LEVERAGE

Synonyms

abuse, capitalize (on), cash in (on), impose (on or upon), exploit, milk, pimp, play (on or upon), use, work

Related Words

jerk around, manipulate, mistreat; bleed, cheat, fleece, overcharge, skin, soak, stick; commercialize, commodify

more

Other Business Terms

amortize, caveat emptor, clearinghouse, divest, due diligence, emolument, green-collar, marque, overhead, perquisite

Learn More About LEVERAGE

Thesaurus: All synonyms and antonyms for "leverage"

Spanish Central: Spanish translation of "leverage"

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http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=2133098&langPref=en-CA
 

Taste Testing

 Last night I was driving alongside a field of several moving combines (I believe I could make out about five).  As their  lights shone and twirled in a whirl of dust it put me in mind  of a sort of Harvest Hoedown.  Pulleys twirling and cutters and headers moving in an exotic rhythm as  dust and insects became  momentarily visible only to disappear suddenly as  the machine quickly turned inwards and sashayed in another direction.


  Along with this Harvest Polka ,  I noticed  that two  park lights of what appeared to be a small truck sitting on one side at the edge of the field were on and the vehicle wasn't moving.

  I recognized the reasoning behind this scene immediately,  then thought to myself that over the last 40 years some things never change.

 It probably still is a bad thing to drive over an unharvested grain swath with any type of vehicle --even a bike.

It probably still is a good idea to have the back chute closed before filling the truck box up with grain, rather than driving back to the house with a full load leaving a little tell tale trail behind.

I'd even bet it is still a bad idea to mess with the mirrors of any type of grain truck for at least the next six weeks.  This bad idea also can cover the risk one takes by moving any oddly placed boards, flags, or pails near the hopper and auger where grain trucks back up to unload.

Even with the common use of hopper bottom bins it seems to me that it still isn't a good idea to leave  rarely used wooden bin door slats inside the bin and proceed to auger grain on top.  Children can learn many many new swear words with the breaking of this rule.

Books in a grain truck are OK as long as one doesn't see the full combine having to wind it's way over to the truck from the other side of the field because there has been 'reading going on" instead of paying attention. I use the term 'wind' as combiners will never break the 'Do Not Drive on the Swath Rule'.


I KNOW this one is still in effect:  One must never ever lean over the twirling power take off  which is situated under the lifted truck box to pull the hoist lever to tilt the full box even higher.  You will get yelled at a lot if you do this...I know.  This rule is a real biggie right along with knowing which is the diesel fuel tank and the purple gas tank if you are the Gas Gopher for the season.

And finally, I'd bet some Serious Coin that there are at least a few farmers who still think the best way to test the fitness or grade  of the wheat is to grab a handful of grain from truck as it flows from the chute to the auger and, after a careful look at  the general colour and shape of each kernel in their open palm (while flicking away the odd beetle or grasshopper), raise it up to their mouth and stick their tongue out to pick up some of the golden coloured grain in order to give it the chew test which analyses the hardness and texture.  These taste test predictions, it was thought, helped the farmer decide whether to wait a day or so before finishing a field or to surge on ahead into the wee hours of the morning as long as the dew stayed away.

Now getting back to the park lights on in the parked half-ton. 

How else are you going to find your mode of transportation back to your home/bed on a moonless night at 2:30 am after the barley finally gets tough as  there are no landmarks or bushes left on the rock pile free, mostly level prairie grain field? 


 

Ready to Eat!

Yes it is harvest time on the prairies !

 These are the times when lights traveling across the field in long angled trails, sometimes twirling, sometimes seeming to magically   multiply as combines, tractors, and trucks join together only to part again and continue on to  travel on imaginary highways avoiding sloughs and rocks, while  momentarily disappearing behind softly rising hills and dips on the prairie landscape.

These are the days when tomato sandwiches and mayonnaise taste the best.  Purple plums eaten with hands that have handled the hose of diesel fuel, messed with greasy pulleys,  and  probably swept out at least one mouse nest  from the grain truck have a flavour and savouriness not found anywhere else on the planet. 

Yes, harvest meals are truly a unique experience and  are  almost  a welcome challenge to the meal makers as they prepare, pack, and transport meals to the harvest field.  Pots full of mashed potatoes, roasters of fried chicken, casseroles of hot buttered corn, along with a fresh pie or two are only a small example of the nutritious fare travelled out to the back forty; packed in newspapers in cardboard boxes, along with 'real' dishes and metal utensils...all in accordance with  that  heretofore little known by urbanites harvest meal law  that  somewhere on some grain box is sketched out in a combination of axle grease and barely dust:

  Items such as cold Cheese Whiz sandwiches on white bread, canned fruit, and bags of potato chips are NEVER EVER to be disguised as a meal for a Harvesting Prairie Farmer.

 Alas,there was once a time when I, as a mother of two preschoolers, married to a then farmer who was 'out combining in his field'  mistakenly and yes ,  brazenly, thought that this above previously unproven agriculturally based law could be broken.

I thought of this because I was tired, busy, and wanted to cut corners...soooooo...I went to the nearby rural general store and purchased some bottles of Coke, a bag of Doritos,  a few chocolate bars, and some garlic sausage and proceeded to travel fifteen miles out to the field, with the children strapped in their seats, over gravel and dirt  roads  until I finally reached the approach closest to where the combine and  more importantly my combiner was busily traveling around and around on the field.

  I remember distinctly that it was an almost festive time.  The children played in the dusty stubble as my husband sat in the car eating Doritos and hunks of sausage listening to the sound of grasshoppers and children laughing. All too soon it was time to pack up paper and wrappers when alas, alas, alas, as I picked up the plastic label that had once protected the garlic sausage I saw these words:

This is a RAW meat product.  Do not consume until it is fully cooked.

The  truth of  the Harvest Law of  the Meal had made itself evident.

For the last 30 years I have always always checked for this sign whenever I purchase over the counter meat products.

Trailer Boat Innovation

 

 

 

 

 1. Note the position of boat in relation to shoreline. 

 

 

 

2. Back trailer up close enough to hook up winch rope.

 

3. Hook up rope.

 

 

4. Begin winching as boat rolls along easily on extra extended tire surface.

 

 

 

5. Boat on trailer in less than 2 minutes.



 
 
 

 

 

 

With this little extra device, the trailer only has to be in the minimum amount of water to allow the boat to be rolled off quickly and easily.

 

Fishing/ Camping Rules

Fishing/Camping Rules:


1. Get a Fishing License.

2. Get a Boat Driving License.

3. Read  and know about the  catch limits for your area.

4. Do not leave your 28' motor home and boat trailer parked at the boat launch while you go out on the lake to fish, as other people may  need the launch to  get in and off the water.

5.  If your garbage flies out of your boat, make at least some small attempt at retrieving it instead of just letting it drift away.

6.  When changing your fish line, pick up the old line and take it home and put it in YOUR garbage instead of just leaving it on the ground.

7.  When starting up your generator, it would be polite to talk to  your campground neighbours informing them of how long you think you will be needing to disrupt their peace and quiet and opportunity to listen to wild life in nature.  Do NOT ever run the generator longer than three hours and try to do so at noon when mechanical noises are not so noticeable in the wild.  If you find that you need to run the generator longer than three hours perhaps you should either a) get a bigger battery b) go to an electrified campsite c) stay home.

8.  Do not use your fish net as an oar.  It just doesn't work very well.

9.  It is always BEST to check to see if you have a bung in your boat and that it is inserted correctly before you launch it.  In fact, it is strongly suggested that one check this before leaving home  recalling this ancient fisherman's motto "Do you know where your Bung is?"

10. Turning your hitch at right angles as you unload your boat from the trailer is never a good thing. It is unnatural for other boaters to  be able see the floor of your boat from the middle of the lake.

11.  (a)Trying to start your boat motor with it tilted UP will only result in much frustration on your part--not to mention the motor itself by overheating and sputtering. Carburetors  like being level.

       (b) Further addressing the topic of difficult to start motors, in the event that any difficult to start boat motor does indeed start, it is not a recommended fishing practice to head out immediately to the furthest  and most isolated side of the lake. 

12.  Please do not try to hide the fact that you are the type of fisherman that keeps every single fish no matter the type or how large or small.   When you stand on the other side of your truck discreetly 'cleaning, cleaning' for an hour...we all pretty much know you have TOO many fish; and we for sure know it when you come back the next day and do the same thing.

13.  If you have a boat without a steering wheel, one should sit on the right hand side of the motor...to counteract the spinning of the propeller.  It keeps the boat leveller and makes the steering easier.

14.  Throwing hooks into the water when you don't catch a fish does not really reap you anything but a possible pulled shoulder and a bigger bill next time you go to the fishing tackle place.

15. There are no family secrets when fishing and camping in public.  One can pretty much ascertain what some people's wives and children have to deal with when one hears  swearing, banging, scraping, while watching the  zero to sixty attitude towards other fisherman with regard as to where they park their trailers.  (Threatening to flatten tires really isn't part of very many effective conflict resolution methodologies and probably should be avoided.)

16.  Finally and most importantly, lifejackets are to be worn.

Until next year.

  May your waters be calm, and your boat keep you dry

That little one you threw back may become next year's

 Big Guy.

Gypped

Irene Hilda Lundeen was born August 25, 1922 in Preeceville, Saskatchewan  the eldest daughter of Swedish immigrants.  Her father, Ole, was a farmer and fur trapper in the Porcupine forest in North East Saskatchewan, Canada.  Her mother, Ester Sjostrom was a hardworking farmer's wife  who gave life to four children despite a seven year stay in a sanatorium for treatment of tuberculosis.

Irene grew up in an area of Saskatchewan where the farm land was best left uncultivated and where rabbits, raccoons, and bears  were a common sight both in the garden and in the  traps set  and designed to catch any and all fur bearing mammals.  While the most young women of the day   embroidered and attended dances, Irene was trapping animals to sell furs to the local fur traders.



As I mentioned before, Irene's mother Ester was seconded to a sanatorium for treatment of tuberculosis and was for all intense and purposes absent from the life of the then 5 year old Irene and her younger brother for seven long years.  During this time, Irene and her brother Irwin lived with her Aunt , her mother's sister, and her husband, who worked for the Canadian Pacific Railroad, in a box car on a siding on the outskirts of a small prairie town noted for its  perogies, cabbage rolls, and home brew.   Her father, Ole, remained on his trap line and tended his crops for seven years without his wife and family at his side. After this seven year banishment the family was duly reunited and consequently ,  two more siblings arrived.




In due course, Irene, returned to the community where she spent her growing up years with her Aunt and family and married a local farmer.   Life was full of hard work for a farmer's wife in the '40s and '50's.  Raising 1000's of turkeys and chickens, milking cows to send cream to the dairy,  planting gardens an acre in size, plus the canning, freezing, and preserving of fruits and vegetables made time fly by, but Irene managed to sew quilts, mend clothes, and crochet doilies and tablecloths in her 'extra' time.  Besides raising four children, keeping them clean, fed,  Irene put on 'parties' where family and neighbors were invited and  Three spot and Canasta were played, lunches of homemade sausages on fresh baked buns offered,  and cakes made from scratch from hen house eggs served.

As her children  gradually left home, Irene devoted her summertime to her flower garden and her wintertime, being a woman of thrift, to sewing quilts, using material cut from used clothing.

Irene had four lovely granddaughters all born within three years of each other.  She described these grand babies as her  four little birds who would follow her around ...tweeting and chirping ...as they watched her prepare favourite desserts, wash strawberries from the garden, or crochet an doll clothes.  Many special meals of palt and bacon, blueberry cheesecake and fresh raspberries  were served to these little 'birds' by their wonderful doting Grandma Irene.

Now, when one gets married one doesn't often just marry one's spouse.  One marries not only an individual but also the individual and their family. At least that is the way I see it, and so when I married Irene's second son in 1981 I felt I was , in fact, getting a sort  'Kit'.   This marriage Kit was made of various facets if one included in-laws, nieces, cousins, aunts and uncles.  The main  attractive component for me was the 'mother' .    I was looking forward to years and years of being instructed in the art of quilt making, pie crust rolling, and jam preserving by the matriarch of my new family.
   I envisioned this  woman as being  the grandmother of my future children, the soft hand that would stroke their head when they were sick, the baker of cookies and sweet cakes for after school snacks, the summer holiday guardian and the safe haven of  unconditional love and acceptance that helps every child to bloom.


People have milestones in their lives that mark the start of something momentous such as graduating from High School, one's first job, and holding one's new born child in their arms.  Usually they are happy things.
But for me one of the biggest of life milestones  was of a disappointment that  has shaded the rest of my life.  It  was a day that was only 2 weeks before the birth of my first child and 15 months after my marriage.

It was on March 17, 1983, St. Patrick's Day, that the family was told that Irene had inoperable and terminal cancer of the colon. 

We laid her to rest on August 1 of that same year.  Her second son's first child and  her only grandson was just shy of turning four months old.

A comment made to me at the funeral sticks with me still.  A neighbour leaned over and whispered, "You were Gypped."

And gypped I was---and so was she.

As was my son, Alexander, and my daughters, Sarah, Rachel, and Heidi.


One can only guess at what they have missed because  that Kit  was  irreparably broken  and washed away by the tears that have fallen over the last thirty years.


I am EXACTLY the same age as Irene was 30 years ago when she passed away.  I think today  of the future of my own children's ' Marriage Kits'  as my son will soon be espoused. I, too,  have grandchildren I have yet to meet and sons-in-laws to welcome and greet.

 I hope we all get a fairer deal this time around.


Letter 1 from a young Irene to her mother in the Sanatorium.

 Letter 2  A letter to her Dad.

Letter 3...a bit older child.

The letters are a bit hard to read...perhaps one will have to increase the size of the display.

 Grandma Irene and some of her 'little birds'.

and her quilting.

I think of you often.  I always  miss you.  I always will.

10 Things I Didn't Know Last Week--*But I Do Now*

1. The phrase "Fish don't wear bells" --from the book Shipping News--by Annie Proulx.

2. That there is ALWAYS payback..no matter what the cost...there will always be a way in which you will have to Pay Back the Favour.

3. There ARE houses messier, dirtier, and more dangerously unhealthier than mine.

4. It takes more than just self-identifying yourself as a Witch to make you one.

5. When you look sick, feel sick,  and other people say you are sick...you shouldn't go to work.

6. The phrase " A voice like a wasp in a jar" --from the Shipping News encore une fois. (This along with " "the wind was like the breath of a stepmother").

7. I can and will get annoyed when a huge over sized piece of  machinery takes up ALL the space on a PUBLIC roadway.  A piece of machinery that is not necessarily farmer owned, and therefore, is actually part  of someones private enterprise, who has not paid licensing fees for said piece of machinery, nor the massive taxes that a regular farmer must do;  BUT still travels willy nilly on country roads taking up all the room and interfering with the general coming and goings by bona fide licenced vehicles whose fees go towards the maintaining of said roads and, thus,  help pay the insurance to cover accidents that may occur in collisions with slower moving larger unlicensed mobile devices. ( Truly did not know that this would ever happen--this  feeling of annoyance I mean).

8. Someone thinks of me as their TRUE friend after 50 years...which I guess I am.

9. I can pick out Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia from a picture without ever really being there.

10.  'Growing Up' has nothing to do with Age, Intelligence, Education,  Religion, Monetary Worth, Health, or Technological Savvy; but has more to do with Common Sense.

Hollyhock Memories

Apple Faces

We have all had those moments in life when we wish we could go back just a few seconds  to redo, to rewind, to flip back a page or so for  multiple reasons. 

 I suspect that one of the most common reasons is due to that ever present Nemesis of the human spirit that plagues each and every one of us even to the grave ~ that being the cherry red cheeked hotness of embarrassment.

This  red flag of the  rising warmth of pink cheeks blazed across our face as a   result of the exposure of our imagined inner and hidden thoughts and yearnings , or even  our physical desires not to mention bodily functions socially deemed to be private if not sacred in some cultures, has been cause for wars, demotions, and literal 'loss of face'.

I will never ever forget the moment when the mother of one of my pre-adolescent crushes said point blank to me, "You like Billy don't you?"  I didn't realize that one could be frozen in place and have one's face literally burn until silent tears came to one's eyes all at the same time.

It has happened to us all, this 'unmasking' of our inner beings either as a result of our words, deeds, actions, or inactions being more revealing than we anticipated. 

 Another  time this scarlet dirge become evident in my life was the day that I absentmindedly called my Grade 1 teacher , who was nineteen at the time and male ,  "Grandma".   It happened again when I referred to our Chemistry teacher, a fellow from India, as "Mom" when I raised my hand to answer a question.

I always thought of  those little slips of the tongue with a certain amount of humour as I recalled the look of surprise from the recipients. 

  It wasn't until recently that I came to realize that maybe they didn't mind being called Mom or Grandma because these terms meant that I obviously felt safe and a certain amount of comfort in their presence. 

I have an interesting job that involves the supervision of young women living away from home.  The other night as I said, "Nightie night. Have a good sleep." to one of the clients, she turned around and said, "I love you too."  She turned and gasped as she realized  to whom she was talking.  She then  blushed and quickly covered herself with her blankets.

As I turned off the light and closed her door, I  smiled to myself, as I thought that something must be a little right in her life if she can utter such words to a near perfect stranger even par hazard.   

It  was kind of  cool.