Hair Raising

I spent some time in the 'Beauty Parlour' the other day having my monthly to six week procedure done of cut, colour, and, of course, a  glorious shampoo.  There really isn't  anything better than a peppermint shampoo being liberally and robustly scrubbed into one's scalp.  Invigorating and worth every dollar spent having it done.

That is the 'Beauty' of the whole scene.  

Now I will discuss the Beauty of the Parler si on peut le dire en francais.

Yes, sans doubt, a visit to a place where there are primarily women, who have time on their hands, who have the money to spend, and who are without a doubt going to walk out of the premises looking better than they went in, is a place of much chatter, giggling, gossip, and revelations.  

So it was that interesting day at the House of Hair and Spray. 

 The conversation casually started , I think,  with what and how the Hallowe'en Trick/Treaters fared for the young mothers in the group.
They spoke of children wandering into the Liquor Store and actually getting a treat, of home made costumes and other trickery. 

This conversation  ultimately wandered into tricks people have played on family on April 1 (April Fool's Day).  One young woman proclaimed  with unusual glee that that day was her family's favourite holiday (I hadn't realized it was a holiday).  I  continued to listen unobtrusively with head covered in a plastic bag, hair matted down in a brown syrupy mess to find out exactly why this 'holiday' would be so appealing.

"I will never forget the April 1 that I was six," proclaimed one young woman.  " My mother woke us all up yelling , 'Fire! Fire!'." "I was traumatized." 

Not to be outdone another young woman announced that her Great Aunt Hilda who is 80 years old lies down at the bottom of the stairs and groans every April 1 morning and catches her unsuspecting family off guard almost every time.

A third young woman chimed in that she got her 5 year old daughter to call up her older sister and tell her that 'Mommy won't wake up.' and the resulting chaos than ensued- as the panicked woman hung up the phone and jumped into the car to her sister's to check that all was well before she was told it was a trick.

Then, there was the story about one of their brothers who had gone out the night before April 1 and somehow fell out of a tree simply because in the tone of derision only a sister can muster, "He is a man."

This 'man' supposedly called his father  to say that he needed help because he had fallen out of a tree and had broken his ankle.  His father noting the date on the calendar being the early morning of April 1 merely said, "Sure you did.", and hung up and turned over and went back to sleep."  About  an hour later when the son hadn't yet returned the father decided he should go see where his son had gotten to at such a late hour. He found him , sitting by a curb not far from home under a tree with a broken ankle. 

Now the Nail! The Point!

As I watched the beauticians working hard cutting, colouring , creaming, snipping, spraying, brushing,  curling, and ironing clients' hair I was privy to a conversation that really showed that just because you  have gotten your hair done and you  think you look smart doesn't mean that you are smart..or even kind, thoughtful, or grateful for that matter.

Client:  I'd like to come back before Christmas.
Beautician:  Well, let's see.  I am pretty booked up already.
Client:  It's really important that I get my hair done again before we leave.
Beautician:  Well, how about the 17th..at 8:00 in the morning? I could come in an hour early if you like? 
Client: Hmmm.
Beautician:  That is if you don't think it is too early. 
Client:  I really don't know.  I'm not really a morning person.
Beautician:  (Pause)  How about 6:30 pm that day? I can stay an hour later. My mom can make supper for the kids that night I suppose.
Client:  Sure that would work.


Yep., you can go to a Beauty Parlor every day of the week , at any time of the day, and you aren't going to be very pretty if the Beauty isn't on the inside too.
   

Rats!

The daily menus of many North American households have certainly changed over the years not only due to availability of certain foods, but also in the fact that people are more informed about the effects food has on our minds and bodies. 

 There are all sorts of diets out there that cater to all sorts of people and  personalities in every  sort of profession and   professed life style and philosophy .

There are the diets of the omnivores and  the carnivores, the vegan, the vegetarian, the gluten free, the carbohydrate limited, fat free, sugar free,  dairy free, and caffeine free. There are diets that contain only food that is either raw, fermented, or organic.
Many of these diets are exclusive to any other and  often the consumer relies on their  own understood definition to guide them in their choice of food in  a manner of rigidity reminiscent of Aunt Heddie in Canada's favourite  television program 'Anne of Green Gables'.

Some foods of these diets are a more expensive than others , particularly during certain times of the year here in the Great White North.  Some foods of these diets are completely foreign not only to to the country but also to the palate and the plate. Some foods could never even enter the country along with some of their citizens in years past due to political issues around the world.

My parents would have found it strange to have many of these foods and diets as options on their weekly household menus. Living and working in a culture  to produce food primarily to sell to others for distribution and consumption locally and around the world, our definition of a foreign meal was Spaghetti Os and Pizza, with a semi yearly treat to the local Chinese Restaurant where one could order 'Canadian' and get a hamburger or the Combination Special of rice, chicken balls, and stirred fired vegetables with the most exotic ingredient being almonds.


The Point? The Reason ? The Nail? for all this blither you query?*This does NOT apply to those who have Medical /Religious reasons for their diets.

There is something about a society where people  have the power and are allowed the self important indulgence of  successfully following a self prescribed diet that implies an actual choice of which food to overtly and overly consume, that I find   unctuous and dangerously decadent; especially as very few of these palate preferred consumers can not resist the temptation of loudly judging those who do not prescribe to their particular brand of food consumption. 

 It is worrisome, I think, to have so many facets of our society self identify by what they EAT, instead of self describing their attributes in terms character, values and ethics. 

 Is it perhaps because the former is easier to attain than the latter?



An Example of a Day's Menu 50 years ago.

Breakfast: Puffed Wheat, Brown Sugar, Whole Cows Milk (when we had it, otherwise it was skim milk from powder).

Lunch: Lipton Chicken Noodle Soup, Salted Crackers, Bread/Jam
Velveeta cheese sandwiches (or) Spam sandwiches. Tang for juice.

Supper (Dinner in other parts of the world): Elbow Macaroni with canned tomatoes over top, boiled wieners or fried baloney, and canned peas. Tang or skim  powdered milk if there was any left from breakfast.


Dessert: Canned fruit with real cream or rice pudding with raisins.

Pancakes and syrup were a treat.  Bacon and eggs for the whole family a rarity. Pot Roast and Chicken were for days when men were at the table depending upon the time of year. 

No one dared to declare in those days they were 'chicken free' for the same reason people in third world countries today who dig through the garbage finding rats to eat don't become 'rat free'--they'd all go hungry
                                     

Apples are Apples or Are They?

People are a lot like apples I think. 

I say this because, like apples , people are often better one at a time, are more prone to sweetness when they are young, and often rot easier if put them too close to another in a small area.

Apples often can become tart, bitter, and not just a little bit off colour when left too long before being enjoyed. And like people,  they sometimes develop a thick skin which is hard to get through and which tends to become rough on the surface.  This makes it even tougher and less attractive, resulting in a the fruit that becomes dry and coarse in taste and texture.

All I really know is that all too often apples and people that have been left unattended, uncared for, and unused just keep getting more sour  and bitter.  They actually become a determent to the other apples around them.

 Finally, in a pie shell, I would have to conclude that unless something drastic happens to both an apple and a person, both will  only get worse with time, although with apples one may still make wine, in contrast to people when all you get is whine.

A little memory of my grandma and grandpa.  Apples were stored in the basement of their farm house..wrapped in tissue paper, boxed, and situated beside the big wood burning furnace.  It was my duty when visiting to venture down the twisty creaky basement stairs to bring up AN apple to be shared by the three of us after it was ceremoniously unwrapped from its white paper, washed ,  cut and cored.

Such a difference from today when bags of apples are placed in fruit bowls and set out on the table to be enjoyed by all anytime of the day. 

2nd place...

Second Place?


A friend recently commented that in a certain instance  I am second place.  Now that in itself gives one pause to think upon not only the quality of the friendship but also the essence of what it means exactly to BE second place.

 My friendship being measured, judged, and found less valued than some other, my prime recollection of being in second place consequently came rushing into my mind's eye. This recollection  is based upon the  continual and unrelenting experience with country school track meets of my far distant youth in terms of real time, but which can be readily accessed through painful and emotionally damaged reveries. 

  There was this 'other  person' involved  that made being second become  embedded into my forever psyche as much as paint has been embedded in the  fiberglass of my husband's  helmet as a consequence of a  motorcycle accident. 

  I am referring to the only track event that I could possibly ever have come first in, the only event that took little or no actual practice, the only event that came naturally to myself as a farm girl used to lifting bales of hay, pitch forking  out the barn, and  shoveling out the last bit of spoiled barley from a partially semi empty mouse laden grain bin.  

I am thinking of   the fine sport of Shot Putt throwing.  My forte.  My expertise extraordinaire.   My place to shine. Mon raison d'etre part of the Track and Field Team.

But, unfortunately for me but fortunately for HER, there was another prairie girl, another farmer's daughter, another like no other who could out throw, out toss and out perform even moi in the area of this Olympic sanctified event.  She was at EVERY field meet and track and field event that I ever attended at the country school, high school, and even district level...and she won the coveted RED First Place ribbon every every time, while I, consequently , took the pale coloured white unnoticeable, ignored, unappreciated and often lost before it even got home ribbon signifying  the dubious and unappreciated status of being better than most but not better than best.

Name me one person who has framed their white second place ribbons. Show me one picture in a high school year book that features a collection of white second place ribbons fanned out in the hands of the dubious winner.  Indeed, show me any surviving white ribbon of that long ago era where competition was accepted and sportsmanship expected.  

Yep, my friend said I was in second place.  Thanks friend. In the realm of feel good messages that ranks less than the best..far far down the list and way past second place.

BUT then again second place might not be so bad after all. It might be good to be in second place if you are in a line up to go 'over the hill' during a combat situation, or if you are standing at a buffet and the guy in front of you drops from food poisoning, or even if you are the second place guy crossing an intersection where someone has gone through  a red light.    A white ribbon in those instances would be a welcome gift, a sign of being  chosen, a place of gratitude and contentment. 

I think I will choose  to attribute  the intention of my friend's labeling of 'second' place as a place not at the top but a long way from the bottom. Isn't that and should that  not be good enough for anyone?...

...unless of course there are only three in the race  which was the case in the 1972 Saskatchewan Summer Games in which I was a participant in Women's Canoeing.   We came in third in three races and second in one. 

  I still have the medals and the memories.

Soon it will be Christmas...another year done...

Yes, as the song goes.... soon it will be Christmas...another year done.. 

Along with Christmas comes the inevitable Christmas Parties with their gaiety, fine food, fellowship and  legend making activities.

Who can't recall with some  passing delight if not actual devilish glee some revealing antic that happened at past Christmas Office Party? Ah yes, who does not know of  the mix of truth telling, truth inventing, and truth stretching that is given leave to be circulated all under the innocent guise of 'filling in' the worker who hadn't been able to attend the annual function of dysfunction and mayhem which accompanies most of these  celebrations  denoting the total ignorance of what the Season is truly all about? These truths that spread faster than the  artificial lighting that drapes over every eave, roof, and metal railing in the average North American household, that may or may not cause red faces, vivid day dreams, and domestic disputes for years to come.

These 'truths' embellished with details that are peppered with superiority, speculated  upon as to the inner motivations, combined with the blurred memory of the story teller contributes to the Office Consciousness that when tapped will provide many hours of biting, condemning, and snickering conversation in the lunch room for months until at least the  office Spring Bar-B-Q. 

Is it not a just a bit strange then that the very reason these 'parties' even exist at all, the very origin of the Greatest Party on Earth, the real Meaning of the Season , has nothing to do with buffet tables, open bars, bonuses, and collections for the boss's gift?  In fact, I suspect that very very few of Office Party attendees give very much thought to the actual reason for the season. 

 I suspect these social gatherings are more of an opportunity to see and be seen, an opportunity to schmooze with the upper echelon of the corporation, and often an unhappy opportunity based on lust and too much alcohol to test one's attractiveness by expressing one's previously and  the oh so wisely hidden desire for a romantic dalliance with a co-worker, their spouse or some combination thereof, however brief.

A few examples of character revealing Christmas Party antics...which are not exaggerated, contrived, or invented..well not a lot anyways.

Christmas Character Flaw Revealed #1

  How about those crocodile tears that flowed when the Boss thanked everyone for the World Vision Gifts bought for her in her name? Really...she didn't KNOW one could  do that? How can she be the age she is, with the money she has, and live in the world we live in  and NOT know of World Vision?

 Christmas Character Reveal #2

How about that worker and his wife who BRING  and pass around unasked for goodies to augment the Boss's office party?  

 Blatant trying to get in good with the boss attempt perhaps.  

Christmas Character Reveal #3

The person with the big official and professional type looking boots who flung their leg over the table while slogging back copious amounts of booze to the shocked dismay of the others at the table revealed more than her lack of manners.  It also revealed the lower standard of character traits that her particular profession has allowed into their ranks. 

Christmas Character Reveal #4

The Christmas group photo.  How could one miss the squeezing in of some office staff into the back row of male co workers?  One can only speculate on the 'why' of it all.

There are a million Christmas Parties going on in North American this season-- opportunities for millions more character revealing incidents.  

If you feel you would like to share your own or another's Character Reveal , please do so in the comment section to be enjoyed by the rest of us.

http://www.worldvision.org/


Visit the site to learn more about sponsoring a child or donating to a very worthy cause.

Mr. & Mrs. Alexander Hoffman

Good evening everyone. Let me first of all introduce myself and my husband...I am Penny Hoffman and this is my husband Irwin...we are the proud parents of Alexander and the proud new in laws of our most beautiful bride Mel.


And before I go any further I would like to congratulate Shirley and Kevin on their anniversary and to acknowledge Mel's grandma as being the first bride in the group on this date.

 Best Wishes to you all.I wanted to say a few words tonight to tell the world just how pleased we both are with Alexander's choice for life partner

. It was about 6 years ago when I FINALLY received that phone call that all parent's wait for...that phone call that announces that their child is bringing someone special home for them to meet.

 My first impression?
 What a beauty! Red hair! Wonderful smile!

My second impression? What a nice little girl.

 My third impression later on in the weekend?
 'Yep. This could be the ONE."Followed later by the thought: "That would be a good thing."

Shortly after their arrival to our rural home near Yorkton, Alexander went off exploring 'home' and left Mel sitting in the kitchen with me while I prepared lunch. I remember visiting with her and her talking about her mom and dad, her sister, her grandma, and her aunts and uncles...all in this first conversation and I thought to myself, "This young woman really loves her family and is well loved by her family. How nice! How refreshing!"

Over the years that we have known Mel our own love for her has steadily grown ...her ready smile and wonderful laugh, her down to earth practicality in knowing what in life is important..(proven when she bought Alexander blue jeans for Christmas one year), and her genuine goodness and compassion has never ceased to impress us.

 I also want to mention that she is a GREAT co-camper--a true test of character.

Just a little story...Mel's first experience camping in a tent was with us during a very cold and snowy May long weekend. Our camping experience, being a bit more primitive than most, consists of a small camper with the private facilities being located in a little tent outside of the camper. In the middle of the cold wet night I happened to look out and saw the 'facility' tent wiggling and wiggling and I thought that it must have been particularly windy out. It wasn't until the next morning that Mel shared that she had been out and about in the middle of the night and that the zipper on that particular shelter had gotten stuck and that the wiggling that I had seen in the night was her trying to escape until she finally crawled on her hands and knees to get outside and free. What is even more incredible is that she even went camping again after that experience. She has an open invitation from Irwin to go camping anytime

.I would now like to give a few words of advice from someone who has been married for over 30 years...some of this knowledge will be well entrenched in any long married couple's relationship so it wouldn't be new to many in the crowd.

1st of all I would like to forewarn Mel and Alexander that there are indeed going to be moments when you just will "have to love them anyway'. I am talking about those times when you will have to grit your teeth, bite your lip, leave the room and go for a walk." Such moments may come when, from pure just plain lack of judgment and bad luck salt instead of the sugar will be used to top off the rhubarb crisp . A walk might be in order following an incident let's say of the use of a blow torch on a family heirloom crystal candle stick used to dislodge old wax. A good lip biting might be the best choice in terms of response when for example, 'someone' drives long long long long after the gauge shows HOT on the dash of a little treasured Mazda quarter ton truck and consequently melts the whole of the engine block. ( like who knew that could actually happen?)

Other times these methods of home preservation may be used would be after 'someone' forgets to close the deep freeze door for the weekend, or when one of you takes the car off to work with the other's purse in the passenger seat beside them in plain sight...and an even BIGGER LIP BITE might be in order when one partner drives off through the mud for three miles before realizing that the 'other' is indeed not in the back seat and is in actuality still standing outside-- in the field-- in the rain.

My second piece of advice to both Alexander and Mel as they embark on their life together is to make sure they always remember that the other one has been greatly loved and cherished by their own parents . Parents, who only want the very best for them. I ask that during the dark times , the times when they are the most angry, the times when they do not want to forgive and forget, the times when they most want to lash out, that they remember that deep down inside the other one is still the little child that was loved and cuddled by their parents and that they try to use that image to be compassionate, forgiving and loving once again.

Finally I would like to thank all of Mel's relatives along with Grandma, Shirley and Kevin, with a special thanks also to sister Kerry, for welcoming Alexander aka "Slick" so nicely into their family fold.

 There is nothing that makes a parent happier than to know that their child is loved and safe and I believe that to be true today.

May God Bless you Alexander and Mel with many wonderful years together. We wish you prosperity, good health, and much happiness but along with all those things I wish you the doubled joy and half the grief that is possible by a life being shared.

May He give you each wisdom and patience and the capacity to forgive as you travel onward through this special life's journey. May all the marriages in this building be blessed by your example and, also, as today is the anniversary of other weddings, may it serve as a reminder to us all that one does not simply 'get' married...but rather one 'does' marriage...over and over and over again.

Red Socks

Today's Topic  is Socks

Socks are the common denominator in our society.  |The majority of the people reading this are wearing at least one pair, and this pair has been deliberately chosen to be the ones worn for this day --a day that also  also includes the choice to read this blog.


Some of these socks may range anywhere  from being plain white (male or female) ankle or knee length , neon striped with articulated toes and heals, plus  almost  every conceivable design, colour, sports logo, weight, texture, and material that the modern man has imagined and manufactured.

Gone are the days of  the home made knit socks and darning needles and   darning eggs for the  weekly hole repair. 

However, no matter what genre sock is involved the mystery as to where the socks go after they are placed in the dryer remains to this day.  When my family was growing up I made it a rule to only have white socks ..same style, same size ..so there wasn't any hassle in figuring out whose socks belonged to whom, and there were usually enough left socks for the right socks to pair up with.       

I have had the same two feet for over 60 years. For over 60 years I have been concerned over finding, searching for, and wearing matching socks on these same two feet... feet which in fact are NOT matching in themselves. In reality they are barely mirror images of each other being in turn (and often in circles) alternately left and right. Therefore, tonight for the first time in 60 years, I am going to wear mismatched socks.. hearkening to the ancient adage that 'if you can't find the right one. . then you have to wear the one that's left."

Red Socks are special.  They take you to parties where one meets the most interesting people,  They also help you to  dance like you think no one is looking.  The wearing of them can almost guarantee that you will get home late or early depending upon which side of the clock you want to look at. 

 There are at least 4 'at one time used to be 19 years old'  women who lived at #6-1953 Garnet Street, Regina, Saskatchewan in the early 1970's that can attest to the truth of the above statement.

Mail Order Shopping

Hey there Laura! 

Thanks for leaving your  Catalogue at work for my perusal. Yes I'd like to place an order , but first I would like to

ask a few questions regarding products and their usage etc.

1. I was fascinated by the thought of using a Fat Mop, but just wondering if one should use it wet or dry in or out of the shower?

2. The wire Facial Hair Remover looks interesting..no plugging into anything I am thinking. Quite good for camping. Does the Fuzz Eater come separately?

3. I will definitely be ordering the Bunion Toe Spreader...make that two (2) for the left foot --any colour will do.
4. Super Duper on the Super Kegel fore sure...I'll take one in Green...this item will also go nicely with the  EZ Ladies Travel Urinal.. After receiving these items I plan on not only filling up the van tank with gas while traveling but will also be able to get one of those large Cokes to Go.

5. What about those Prostrate Cushions....no mention of colour or type of outer material available...silk? Velcro? burlap? or just plain velvet? I'll take a dozen of those little rascals ...one for each of my hubby's outfits.

6. I'll be ordering a full carton of Anti Vibration Pads too.--you can pack them with the Kegal/Urinal Container.

7. I notice a Ring Remover...it is on that page with the bathroom stuff...is that any ring? ie. Wedding? Nose? ..Belly Button?

8. Those Banana Guards looked interesting...I'll get back to you on those.

9. A co-worker wanted me to ask if your company carried Udder Butter and Bag Bomb (she claims I spelled that last wrong but whatever....).

IB me with the estimated cost. I am hoping for a bit of a discount for such a big order.
Thanks..
pea

Butt that's Tacky!

As I was sitting in a restaurant the other day I overheard (eavesdropped)  a conversation between a handsome, fit, and tanned doctor and his fashionable family while they partook of their meal. Their conversation ranged from the obese individual at a table across the room, racial comments about incidences of vandalism in the area, and the quality or lack thereof of the food they were eating. Just shows to go ya that it isn't so much what goes into one's mouth that makes one beautiful..it is actually what comes out.

Now this is the rest of the story....

 Prior to this eavesdropped conversation,   as this self imagined 'first' family were leaving their table situated across from our own to go to the buffet, the doctor's wife  accidentally (at least I think accidentally ) rubbed her dainty  gluteus   maximus on my elbow.

   I found  it strange that she didn't turn around to see who or what she rubbed against.

 After I overheard the conversation and my husband told me name of the doctor,  I remembered  that  this  doctor has a reputation of being a womanizer.  I  then thought, 'That might explain why she didn't turn around and say excuse me. She may have thought it was my husband she touched, or else maybe she knew it was me and SHE is a womanizer too.'

 

Two Definitions

Today I will discuss  my  first experience with  one of the two definitions of Leverage* and ultimately my second happier experience with the second.


The first  experience with leverage occurred during the moving of our family from our city apartment back to our country home. 

 The washing machine which was situated in the basement of the townhouse was going to need to be loaded onto a cart for transport. 

 The stairs leading up from the basement were the type that had a  landing on the stairway and then the steps turned at a right angle to complete the rise to the ground level.  

As moving appliances was usually happily not in the realm of my pre - transport duties I spent most of the morning packing the mundane kitchen/bathroom items and utensils all the while listening to things being dragged around in the basement, back door opening and closing, several trips up and down the stairs, some nonthreatening banging and clanging, with some murmuring  under the breath guttural moans and  expressions.


  All seemed to be going according to schedule.

  Until...I got the call.

"Dear, could you come down here for a second?"

Fearing someone had gotten hurt, or perhaps I needed to run an errand, I immediately went down to see why I was being hearkened in such sweet and loving manner.

As I turned the corner to go down the stairs I saw my husband standing at the bottom with two lengths of planking lying along the steps  and  the washing machine resting at the bottom.

I slowed my pace...warily squeezing by the appliance and planks--no small feat as I was six months pregnant at the time.

"What would you like?", I asked eyeing the scene dubiously as little alarms started to tinkle at the back of my consciousness.

"I can't get the washing machine around the corner of the landing so I want you to stand here. " He said as he pointed to the bottom of the steps, "I am going to the top of the stairs  and slide the washing machine up the steps using the planks for support."

 I thought to myself, 'Well that is easy enough...I can do that! As long as he doesn't let the washing machine slide back on me....'. 

Then he said, " As I get the washing machine to the top of the landing, I want you to lift the planks up to your shoulders and just stand there."


  As my bladder lurched and the baby kicked, my inner thoughts were , " OK...now this is too much.  Had this man gone MAD? Was he conniving some sort of household accident in his mind's eye?  Had I finally pushed him over the brink?

 Did he actually expect me...his darling, little , and kind wife and mother of 3 1/2  of his cherished children to actually be able to lift TWO heavy planks PLUS a washing machine to the level of her shoulders without suffering any serious consequences or harm?"

 The greater fear was  that his expectations  of my success were perhaps not really  that high. 

He stood there waiting for my response as I weighed the odds of receiving at the very least skinned shins, knees, and arms if the machine fell back down the stairs,  all the way to possibly experiencing a hernia compounded by a cardiac event  or worse if I attempted such a feat.

 As he was already half way up the stairs with said appliance preparing to drag it precariously upward and outward,  I  obediently said, " OK.  If you think I can do it."

So it began.  

I watched as the washing machine was hauled up slowly by hand higher and higher over the planks accompanied by scraping sounds like nails on a chalkboard. 

 When the machine got near the landing, he said, "Now! Now! Pick up the planks and place them on your shoulder."

I took a deep breath (as deep as any  woman who is six months pregnant could) and laboriously bent over,  grabbed a plank in each hand, and without hardly any effort lifted the planks surprisingly quickly up to my shoulders. 

 I raised my eyes to see the washing machine miraculously being pulled level onto the landing and consequently disappearing around the corner and ultimately heard it being dragged up over the next stairway and out the door.

THAT apparently is leverage.



.

       Give me a place to stand , and I will move the Earth. -- Archimedes

But it didn't end there. 

There are two definitions of leverage* remember. 

Henceforward, whenever there seems to be an impasse in who does what for whom in terms of favours, gifts, or outings,   I sometimes hearken back to the 'time I helped move the washing machine'  to leverage the situation in my favour. 

*

Full Definition of LEVERAGE

1

:  the action of a lever or the mechanical advantage gained by it

2

:  power, effectiveness leverage

>

3

:  the use of credit to enhance one's speculative capacity

See leverage defined for English-language learners »

See leverage defined for kids »

Examples of LEVERAGE

1. The union's size gave it leverage in the labor contract negotiations.
2. The player's popularity has given him a great deal of leverage with the owners of the team.
3. I used the leverage of the bar and a wooden block to pry the rock out of the hole.

First Known Use of LEVERAGE

1830

Related to LEVERAGE

Synonyms

authority, clout, credit, heft, in, juice [slang], influence, pull, sway, weight

Related Words

counterinfluence; command, dominance, dominion, mastery, predominance, reign, scepter, sovereignty (also sovranty), supremacy; consequence, eminence, importance, moment; impact, impress, impression, imprint, mark

Near Antonyms

helplessness, impotence, impotency, powerlessness, weakness

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Rhymes with LEVERAGE

beverage

²leverage

transitive verb

: to use (something valuable) to achieve a desired result

leveragedleverag·ing

Full Definition of LEVERAGE

1

:  to provide (as a corporation) or supplement (as money) with leverage; also :  to enhance as if by supplying with financial leverage

2

:  to use for gain :  exploit leverage

the system to their advantage — Alexander Wolff>

Examples of LEVERAGE

1. The company wants to leverage its brands more effectively.
2. leverage

her 15 minutes of fame>

First Known Use of LEVERAGE

1957

Related to LEVERAGE

Synonyms

abuse, capitalize (on), cash in (on), impose (on or upon), exploit, milk, pimp, play (on or upon), use, work

Related Words

jerk around, manipulate, mistreat; bleed, cheat, fleece, overcharge, skin, soak, stick; commercialize, commodify

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Other Business Terms

amortize, caveat emptor, clearinghouse, divest, due diligence, emolument, green-collar, marque, overhead, perquisite

Learn More About LEVERAGE

Thesaurus: All synonyms and antonyms for "leverage"

Spanish Central: Spanish translation of "leverage"

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Taste Testing

 Last night I was driving alongside a field of several moving combines (I believe I could make out about five).  As their  lights shone and twirled in a whirl of dust it put me in mind  of a sort of Harvest Hoedown.  Pulleys twirling and cutters and headers moving in an exotic rhythm as  dust and insects became  momentarily visible only to disappear suddenly as  the machine quickly turned inwards and sashayed in another direction.


  Along with this Harvest Polka ,  I noticed  that two  park lights of what appeared to be a small truck sitting on one side at the edge of the field were on and the vehicle wasn't moving.

  I recognized the reasoning behind this scene immediately,  then thought to myself that over the last 40 years some things never change.

 It probably still is a bad thing to drive over an unharvested grain swath with any type of vehicle --even a bike.

It probably still is a good idea to have the back chute closed before filling the truck box up with grain, rather than driving back to the house with a full load leaving a little tell tale trail behind.

I'd even bet it is still a bad idea to mess with the mirrors of any type of grain truck for at least the next six weeks.  This bad idea also can cover the risk one takes by moving any oddly placed boards, flags, or pails near the hopper and auger where grain trucks back up to unload.

Even with the common use of hopper bottom bins it seems to me that it still isn't a good idea to leave  rarely used wooden bin door slats inside the bin and proceed to auger grain on top.  Children can learn many many new swear words with the breaking of this rule.

Books in a grain truck are OK as long as one doesn't see the full combine having to wind it's way over to the truck from the other side of the field because there has been 'reading going on" instead of paying attention. I use the term 'wind' as combiners will never break the 'Do Not Drive on the Swath Rule'.


I KNOW this one is still in effect:  One must never ever lean over the twirling power take off  which is situated under the lifted truck box to pull the hoist lever to tilt the full box even higher.  You will get yelled at a lot if you do this...I know.  This rule is a real biggie right along with knowing which is the diesel fuel tank and the purple gas tank if you are the Gas Gopher for the season.

And finally, I'd bet some Serious Coin that there are at least a few farmers who still think the best way to test the fitness or grade  of the wheat is to grab a handful of grain from truck as it flows from the chute to the auger and, after a careful look at  the general colour and shape of each kernel in their open palm (while flicking away the odd beetle or grasshopper), raise it up to their mouth and stick their tongue out to pick up some of the golden coloured grain in order to give it the chew test which analyses the hardness and texture.  These taste test predictions, it was thought, helped the farmer decide whether to wait a day or so before finishing a field or to surge on ahead into the wee hours of the morning as long as the dew stayed away.

Now getting back to the park lights on in the parked half-ton. 

How else are you going to find your mode of transportation back to your home/bed on a moonless night at 2:30 am after the barley finally gets tough as  there are no landmarks or bushes left on the rock pile free, mostly level prairie grain field? 


 

Ready to Eat!

Yes it is harvest time on the prairies !

 These are the times when lights traveling across the field in long angled trails, sometimes twirling, sometimes seeming to magically   multiply as combines, tractors, and trucks join together only to part again and continue on to  travel on imaginary highways avoiding sloughs and rocks, while  momentarily disappearing behind softly rising hills and dips on the prairie landscape.

These are the days when tomato sandwiches and mayonnaise taste the best.  Purple plums eaten with hands that have handled the hose of diesel fuel, messed with greasy pulleys,  and  probably swept out at least one mouse nest  from the grain truck have a flavour and savouriness not found anywhere else on the planet. 

Yes, harvest meals are truly a unique experience and  are  almost  a welcome challenge to the meal makers as they prepare, pack, and transport meals to the harvest field.  Pots full of mashed potatoes, roasters of fried chicken, casseroles of hot buttered corn, along with a fresh pie or two are only a small example of the nutritious fare travelled out to the back forty; packed in newspapers in cardboard boxes, along with 'real' dishes and metal utensils...all in accordance with  that  heretofore little known by urbanites harvest meal law  that  somewhere on some grain box is sketched out in a combination of axle grease and barely dust:

  Items such as cold Cheese Whiz sandwiches on white bread, canned fruit, and bags of potato chips are NEVER EVER to be disguised as a meal for a Harvesting Prairie Farmer.

 Alas,there was once a time when I, as a mother of two preschoolers, married to a then farmer who was 'out combining in his field'  mistakenly and yes ,  brazenly, thought that this above previously unproven agriculturally based law could be broken.

I thought of this because I was tired, busy, and wanted to cut corners...soooooo...I went to the nearby rural general store and purchased some bottles of Coke, a bag of Doritos,  a few chocolate bars, and some garlic sausage and proceeded to travel fifteen miles out to the field, with the children strapped in their seats, over gravel and dirt  roads  until I finally reached the approach closest to where the combine and  more importantly my combiner was busily traveling around and around on the field.

  I remember distinctly that it was an almost festive time.  The children played in the dusty stubble as my husband sat in the car eating Doritos and hunks of sausage listening to the sound of grasshoppers and children laughing. All too soon it was time to pack up paper and wrappers when alas, alas, alas, as I picked up the plastic label that had once protected the garlic sausage I saw these words:

This is a RAW meat product.  Do not consume until it is fully cooked.

The  truth of  the Harvest Law of  the Meal had made itself evident.

For the last 30 years I have always always checked for this sign whenever I purchase over the counter meat products.

Trailer Boat Innovation

 

 

 

 

 1. Note the position of boat in relation to shoreline. 

 

 

 

2. Back trailer up close enough to hook up winch rope.

 

3. Hook up rope.

 

 

4. Begin winching as boat rolls along easily on extra extended tire surface.

 

 

 

5. Boat on trailer in less than 2 minutes.



 
 
 

 

 

 

With this little extra device, the trailer only has to be in the minimum amount of water to allow the boat to be rolled off quickly and easily.

 

Fishing/ Camping Rules

Fishing/Camping Rules:


1. Get a Fishing License.

2. Get a Boat Driving License.

3. Read  and know about the  catch limits for your area.

4. Do not leave your 28' motor home and boat trailer parked at the boat launch while you go out on the lake to fish, as other people may  need the launch to  get in and off the water.

5.  If your garbage flies out of your boat, make at least some small attempt at retrieving it instead of just letting it drift away.

6.  When changing your fish line, pick up the old line and take it home and put it in YOUR garbage instead of just leaving it on the ground.

7.  When starting up your generator, it would be polite to talk to  your campground neighbours informing them of how long you think you will be needing to disrupt their peace and quiet and opportunity to listen to wild life in nature.  Do NOT ever run the generator longer than three hours and try to do so at noon when mechanical noises are not so noticeable in the wild.  If you find that you need to run the generator longer than three hours perhaps you should either a) get a bigger battery b) go to an electrified campsite c) stay home.

8.  Do not use your fish net as an oar.  It just doesn't work very well.

9.  It is always BEST to check to see if you have a bung in your boat and that it is inserted correctly before you launch it.  In fact, it is strongly suggested that one check this before leaving home  recalling this ancient fisherman's motto "Do you know where your Bung is?"

10. Turning your hitch at right angles as you unload your boat from the trailer is never a good thing. It is unnatural for other boaters to  be able see the floor of your boat from the middle of the lake.

11.  (a)Trying to start your boat motor with it tilted UP will only result in much frustration on your part--not to mention the motor itself by overheating and sputtering. Carburetors  like being level.

       (b) Further addressing the topic of difficult to start motors, in the event that any difficult to start boat motor does indeed start, it is not a recommended fishing practice to head out immediately to the furthest  and most isolated side of the lake. 

12.  Please do not try to hide the fact that you are the type of fisherman that keeps every single fish no matter the type or how large or small.   When you stand on the other side of your truck discreetly 'cleaning, cleaning' for an hour...we all pretty much know you have TOO many fish; and we for sure know it when you come back the next day and do the same thing.

13.  If you have a boat without a steering wheel, one should sit on the right hand side of the motor...to counteract the spinning of the propeller.  It keeps the boat leveller and makes the steering easier.

14.  Throwing hooks into the water when you don't catch a fish does not really reap you anything but a possible pulled shoulder and a bigger bill next time you go to the fishing tackle place.

15. There are no family secrets when fishing and camping in public.  One can pretty much ascertain what some people's wives and children have to deal with when one hears  swearing, banging, scraping, while watching the  zero to sixty attitude towards other fisherman with regard as to where they park their trailers.  (Threatening to flatten tires really isn't part of very many effective conflict resolution methodologies and probably should be avoided.)

16.  Finally and most importantly, lifejackets are to be worn.

Until next year.

  May your waters be calm, and your boat keep you dry

That little one you threw back may become next year's

 Big Guy.